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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 8, 2008 19:54:48 GMT -5
Here are typical beliefs of people afflicted with Avoidant Personality Disorder: I am socially inept and socially undesirable in work or social situations.
Other people are potentially critical, indifferent, demeaning, or rejecting.
I cannot tolerate unpleasant feelings.
If people get close to me, they will discover the "real" me and reject me.
Being exposed as inferior or inadequate will be intolerable.
I should avoid unpleasant situations at all costs.
If I feel or think something unpleasant, I should try to wipe it out or distract myself—for example, think of something else, have a drink, take a drug, or watch television.
I should avoid situations in which I attract attention, or I should be as inconspicuous as possible.
Unpleasant feelings will escalate and get out of control.
If others criticize me, they must be right.
It is better not to do anything than to try something that might fail.
If I don't think about a problem, I don't have to do anything about it.
Any signs of tension in a relationship indicate the relationship has gone bad; therefore, I should cut it off.
If I ignore a problem, it will go away. Anyone who has Avoidant Personality Disorder really should seek professional help. No amateur will be able to help you. |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 8, 2008 20:31:04 GMT -5
It partially freaks me out, this list, since I recognize my own views and perceptions there. Especially no. 3, 4, 6, 13. The rest I kind of agree with, but some not. It still makes me wonder, though, do I have APD and should I seek help^^?
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Post by strawberrysweetie on Nov 9, 2008 0:00:58 GMT -5
What prompted you to post this, Sweet Pea?  |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 9, 2008 1:37:58 GMT -5
What prompted you to post this, Sweet Pea? this is a shyness support forum, but people sometimes come here and describe what could be full-blown APD. i am not a professional, and neither is anyone else here. whether anyone who comes here would ever be diagnosed with APD, I don't know. but i think it's important to make the point that a support forum cannot cure a personality disorder. that will require professional guidance, alot of hard work and alot of time. i hope anyone that suspects they may have APD will get evaluated and not waste valuable time. we all have a finite lifespan, and none of us has time to waste. why throw your life down the drain if you might be able to change things for the better? encouragement and support can be valuable in addition to treatment, but it cannot substitute for it. |
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Post by YouNeedLove on Nov 10, 2008 11:13:38 GMT -5
r u saying avoidants are not welcome here? getting professional help is a good advice also applies on social anxiety imo. maybe this thread should be a sticky?
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 10, 2008 11:36:00 GMT -5
r u saying avoidants are not welcome here? getting professional help is a good advice also applies on social anxiety imo. maybe this thread should be a sticky? of course i'm not saying avoidants are not welcome here. i just posted the information in the hope that those who have an avoidant personality profile will recognize themselves and seek professional help. and yes, people with social anxiety can benefit from professional help as well. this thread, however, deals with the avoidant personality. |
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Nov 10, 2008 16:11:42 GMT -5
Regardless of what disorder you have or don't have, a message board isn't going to solve deep seated emotional problems.
There are plenty of people who really could benefit from professional help and really people who seem to be stuck and not progressing in life whether by being homebound, unable to work, unable to have friends, unable to pursue the opposite sex should get professional help to deal with the problems.
A message board can't solve those problems.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 10, 2008 19:02:19 GMT -5
Regardless of what disorder you have or don't have, a message board isn't going to solve deep seated emotional problems. There are plenty of people who really could benefit from professional help and really people who seem to be stuck and not progressing in life whether by being homebound, unable to work, unable to have friends, unable to pursue the opposite sex should get professional help to deal with the problems. A message board can't solve those problems. no they can't. we can share info. we can give each other emotional support. and that can be very helpful. but a professional therapist can offer guidance that we can't, and i'm always wary of helping people stay comfortably stuck in a rut. |
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Post by audioalone on Nov 13, 2008 11:49:29 GMT -5
true, but there are some that are on here to make :)friends and for a ;)little emotional support - not for therapy. I think it's safe to say that each person can make up his or her mind whether he or she wants to seek that (outside) therapy.
When or if, I myself want to seek that therapy, I know where to go ;D.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 13, 2008 12:34:21 GMT -5
true, but there are some that are on here to make :)friends and for a ;)little emotional support - not for therapy. I think it's safe to say that each person can make up his or her mind whether he or she wants to seek that (outside) therapy. When or if, I myself want to seek that therapy, I know where to go ;D. sure they can make up their own minds whether or not they want to seek that therapy...and from what i've read 99.999999% of the time, a true avoidant chooses not to seek therapy...unfortunately. |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 13, 2008 12:41:00 GMT -5
Most likely that is because the ones who suffer from APD {and anything else similiar in general} either thinks it's normal to "face obstacles" or they're just too proud to admit to themselves that they need help.
Having said that that APD list on top here really have made me wonder if I suffer from APD, since I recognise myself almost in every situation presented^^.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 13, 2008 13:27:00 GMT -5
Most likely that is because the ones who suffer from APD {and anything else similiar in general} either thinks it's normal to "face obstacles" or they're just too proud to admit to themselves that they need help. Having said that that APD list on top here really have made me wonder if I suffer from APD, since I recognise myself almost in every situation presented^^. well, the only way to know if you would really be diagnosed with APD is to go get evaluated. but regardless of diagnosis, that list does not bode well for overcoming the obstacles to rewarding relationships on your own. those behaviors and thinking patterns are very likely to cause a person to keep going through life indefinitely avoiding the very things s/he needs practice with. in fact, it's almost a certainty. outside assistance with staying focused on the goal of overcoming the avoidant tendencies can make the difference between living your entire life alone and sharing your life with others. |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 13, 2008 13:38:47 GMT -5
outside assistance with staying focused on the goal of overcoming the avoidant tendencies can make the difference between living your entire life alone and sharing your life with others. Good point. I just feel that it's useless to pay someone for telling me what to do and not. But if these attitudes and views stay the way they are at the moment, I'm left with no choice, though^^. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 13, 2008 14:33:53 GMT -5
outside assistance with staying focused on the goal of overcoming the avoidant tendencies can make the difference between living your entire life alone and sharing your life with others. Good point. I just feel that it's useless to pay someone for telling me what to do and not. But if these attitudes and views stay the way they are at the moment, I'm left with no choice, though^^. my suggestion would be to give yourself a reasonable deadline for making progress on your own, and if the deadline passes and you're still stuck in the same spot...force yourself to go get the help...no matter how unpleasant the prospect is to you. just remember, lots of things that are good for you aren't particularly pleasant. eating vegetables, taking vitamins, brushing teeth...whatever it is...usually is not in and of itself pleasant, and can actually be unpleasant. but the payoff can be HUGE for biting the bullet and doing what is necessary for your own wellbeing. if you know you're not going to take good care of your own psychological wellbeing due to your track record, it's best to find a qualified person and put it in their hands for awhile. at least let them steer the ambulance if you know you're likely to put it over a cliff.  |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 13, 2008 14:43:58 GMT -5
Since it's been like this for more than 10 years now, it's likely that it won't change in the near future, so I'd rather go search for someone to help me out. At least see what my options are, and then make a decision. I just need someone to put a foot in my ass so I'd actually do it, instead of sitting here and rambling down what I wish to do  . |
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