Bleh...

[wapwawet]

I think 50% of the reason why I don't initiate relationships (girlfriends), is because I don't really have a social life, and then they would see how boring I am. That, and I still live with my parents (thats changing soon tho).

Anyway, does anyone else feel like that? That your lack of a social life will scare away someone that is interested in you?

[rukryM]

Yes. That's why I don't initiate friendships either. I never believe I will get a girlfriend again, because any girl would just run away when she sees how I am, what personality I have. One can also say it like this "When people get near me, they'll see the real me and then reject me"^^.

I'm really glad there are others on the board who have that exact same view as me.

[Sweet Pea]

i don't care if guys think i'm boring anymore. it's not likely to change much, lol. i'll keep being interestested in the same things that i am now, and my priorities aren't likely to change much except to include a new person in my life. i think it's better to be up front about that stuff. then you have a better chance of ending up with someone who is truly compatible. hiding who you really are just guarantees you'll either a) stay alone, or b) end up with someone incompatible. boring is all relative anyways. millions of people go nutz for football games in the US, but it bores the hell outta me. *shrug*

[pnoopiepnats]

I guess you know the hottest girls in your age group are the club and party girls. Is that why you want to try to be more social to attract those types?

[MrNice]

I figure what the typical girl wants to see in a boyfriend is a meaningful, secure, and productive life.

don't get caught up in this
your problem is not lack of qualities that a woman supposedly wants to see in a boyfriend - its making an emotional connection with people, particularly the romantic type
even if you achieve all those things you listed, you may later find that you have just as much difficulty getting girls as you have now

[HybridMoment]

It does seem like people avoid me more when they figure out I don't have any friends. Sometimes I can meet people that I could possibly become friends with, but then they ask me about having friends (maybe wanting to meet them or something?). And it seems no matter how I explain it, at that point they start avoiding me.

I guess I can't blame them though, perhaps they are just creeped out or start to wonder what kind of horrible person has no friends at all.

[crimeclub]

Nov 29, 2008 22:11:19 GMT -5 MrNice said:

I figure what the typical girl wants to see in a boyfriend is a meaningful, secure, and productive life.

don't get caught up in this
your problem is not lack of qualities that a woman supposedly wants to see in a boyfriend - its making an emotional connection with people, particularly the romantic type
even if you achieve all those things you listed, you may later find that you have just as much difficulty getting girls as you have now

I'm only speaking from what I've heard many girls say. Sure that romantic connection helps you get a girlfriend, but what kind of life you have, or plan to have, factors in when she's trying to decide if she wants to go from being your girlfriend to your wife.

[wapwawet]

Nov 29, 2008 19:33:12 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

I guess you know the hottest girls in your age group are the club and party girls. Is that why you want to try to be more social to attract those types?

Not sure if you are talking to me, or someone else in the thread. But, as for me,...well, yeah I think most guys want to attract those types. At least, initially. I'd much prefer to find a hot, smart girl with a good personality than a dumb party bunny after I attain some experience and get the dumb party bunnies out of my head of course

I want more of a social life, for more than just that reason, but most of the guys I know are petty jealous idiots. I think I would probably get along with girls better. Come to think of it, I probably have more in common with girls than I do guys. Not in an outwardly effeminate wrist-flapping way, of course, but more in the thought process. But then, it would be hard to maintain that type of social life w/ a girlfriend b/c they might get jealous over all the female friends I would choose to have.

[Sweet Pea]

Nov 30, 2008 3:55:48 GMT -5 @wapwawet said:

Nov 29, 2008 19:33:12 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

I guess you know the hottest girls in your age group are the club and party girls. Is that why you want to try to be more social to attract those types?

Not sure if you are talking to me, or someone else in the thread. But, as for me,...well, yeah I think most guys want to attract those types. At least, initially. I'd much prefer to find a hot, smart girl with a good personality than a dumb party bunny after I attain some experience and get the dumb party bunnies out of my head of course

I want more of a social life, for more than just that reason, but most of the guys I know are petty jealous idiots. I think I would probably get along with girls better. Come to think of it, I probably have more in common with girls than I do guys. Not in an outwardly effeminate wrist-flapping way, of course, but more in the thought process. But then, it would be hard to maintain that type of social life w/ a girlfriend b/c they might get jealous over all the female friends I would choose to have.

lmao. okay. well, hmmm...that comment about getting the dumb party bunnies out of your system...kinda sounds like the male equivalent of the girl going for the sexy bad boys until she matures and knows better. so i guess 'nice guys' aren't immune to the charms of the 'bad girls' either.

[wapwawet]

Nov 30, 2008 4:26:18 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

Nov 30, 2008 3:55:48 GMT -5 @wapwawet said:

Not sure if you are talking to me, or someone else in the thread. But, as for me,...well, yeah I think most guys want to attract those types. At least, initially. I'd much prefer to find a hot, smart girl with a good personality than a dumb party bunny after I attain some experience and get the dumb party bunnies out of my head of course

I want more of a social life, for more than just that reason, but most of the guys I know are petty jealous idiots. I think I would probably get along with girls better. Come to think of it, I probably have more in common with girls than I do guys. Not in an outwardly effeminate wrist-flapping way, of course, but more in the thought process. But then, it would be hard to maintain that type of social life w/ a girlfriend b/c they might get jealous over all the female friends I would choose to have.

lmao. okay. well, hmmm...that comment about getting the dumb party bunnies out of your system...kinda sounds like the male equivalent of the girl going for the sexy bad boys until she matures and knows better. so i guess 'nice guys' aren't immune to the charms of the 'bad girls' either.

Haha, yeah, except I suppose it is more of a visual thing with the "bad girls."

But, who knows, perhaps soon I'll be utterly seduced by a smart(cutie of course) girl with her head on straight, and forget all about those "bad girls." Either way, I know I don't want to "settle down" for the long haul. It doesn't matter if you meet the love of your life, if your lack of experience gnaws at you, especially if that person has more experience than you. Or, maybe I have it all wrong? I don't know, relationships have always been confusing to me

[Sweet Pea]

Nov 30, 2008 5:57:14 GMT -5 @wapwawet said:

Nov 30, 2008 4:26:18 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

lmao. okay. well, hmmm...that comment about getting the dumb party bunnies out of your system...kinda sounds like the male equivalent of the girl going for the sexy bad boys until she matures and knows better. so i guess 'nice guys' aren't immune to the charms of the 'bad girls' either.

Haha, yeah, except I suppose it is more of a visual thing with the "bad girls."

But, who knows, perhaps soon I'll be utterly seduced by a smart(cutie of course) girl with her head on straight, and forget all about those "bad girls." Either way, I know I don't want to "settle down" for the long haul. It doesn't matter if you meet the love of your life, if your lack of experience gnaws at you, especially if that person has more experience than you. Or, maybe I have it all wrong? I don't know, relationships have always been confusing to me

oh no...i think you're totally on the right track. just keep on throwing up more and more obstacles between yourself and any possibility of a relationship. yeah, that's definitely the way to go.

[wapwawet]

Nov 30, 2008 6:37:40 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

Nov 30, 2008 5:57:14 GMT -5 @wapwawet said:

Haha, yeah, except I suppose it is more of a visual thing with the "bad girls."

But, who knows, perhaps soon I'll be utterly seduced by a smart(cutie of course) girl with her head on straight, and forget all about those "bad girls." Either way, I know I don't want to "settle down" for the long haul. It doesn't matter if you meet the love of your life, if your lack of experience gnaws at you, especially if that person has more experience than you. Or, maybe I have it all wrong? I don't know, relationships have always been confusing to me

oh no...i think you're totally on the right track. just keep on throwing up more and more obstacles between yourself and any possibility of a relationship. yeah, that's definitely the way to go.

See, you get it!

[rukryM]

I'm not trying to be more social so that party girls will like me, because I believe their views on life doesn't match mine, and that we have a very converging behaviour and perception when it comes to most things. I'd just like to meet someone who doesn't consider me a downed loser for not being social, not having {a lot of} friends and having so-called "odd" interests. But being rejected by a girl is just the worst thing that can happen on Earth^^.

[MrNice]

yep - there is two types of girls out there -
1. the dumb party bunny/crazy outgoing social butterfly
2. The very hot very smart nice shy girl with super personality that will make the life of any shy guy complete

[rukryM]

I'm on the look for number two, but they're of course impossible to encounter since they're afraid of being social too .