|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 2, 2009 18:27:00 GMT -5
why do you feel confused and sick if a girl says she likes your pic online? Wouldn't that make you feel good? Though I wasn't the one asked about this I may still answer since it applies for me too. Confused and sick because I can't believe she's serious, and because I feel I let her down or fool her. Hence, she'll reject me in scorn and disappointment when she gets close enough to the real me^^. that's really sad. why do guys feel they always have to be strong and in control to be interesting to a woman? vulnerability just makes you human. we all have our vulnerabilities. i wouldn't want to be in a relationship with anyone if i don't have something to offer that they want/need on an emotional level. someone who is so strong and independent that they never need anybody is less interesting to me, actually. also, how is an invulnerable man going to feel about me in my times of vulnerability. is he going to get disgusted and leave when i let down my guard? why would anyone want that? i have this theory that two people really can't bond until they expose their vulnerabilities to each other and work to overcome adversity together. |
|
tavil
New Member
Posts: 44
|
Post by tavil on Mar 2, 2009 18:45:43 GMT -5
Ive never felt confused or sick if a girl said she likes my pic.
Its great to get a compliment from girl. It never happens but when it does its great.
|
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Mar 3, 2009 11:36:55 GMT -5
that's really sad. why do guys feel they always have to be strong and in control to be interesting to a woman? Those are the requirements set by most girls, hence the pressure of being strong, independent and "the one in charge" increases a lot. Seems like showing emotions and exposing one's vulnerabilities is out of the question, a sign of weakness and a good reason for rejection and possible scorn. i have this theory that two people really can't bond until they expose their vulnerabilities to each other and work to overcome adversity together. I agree a lot, however the opposite gender seems to think that the male should be flawless, almost without big emotional aspects and overall very "rock solid". At least when it comes to the first impression, it seems like if girls find one minor error they move on to another. Overall it's just very confusing and annoying, leads me to kind of lose interest in girls and the whole pick-up-scene, right now I actually don't care since it's virtually impossible. |
|
tavil
New Member
Posts: 44
|
Post by tavil on Mar 3, 2009 18:20:37 GMT -5
i hate that stereotype.
Not all men have to be Paul Bunyan big and tough.
If a guy has emotions and shows them hes branded a loser and a pussy.
Its ridiculous.
Im not a tough person at all its just not me. I cry at sad movies. I think bunny rabbits are cute.
I write poetry and things like that. its just the way i am. I hate being looked down upon by women for it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Mar 3, 2009 18:39:26 GMT -5
i hate that stereotype. Not all men have to be Paul Bunyan big and tough. If a guy has emotions and shows them hes branded a loser and a pussy. Its ridiculous. Im not a tough person at all its just not me. I cry at sad movies. I think bunny rabbits are cute. I write poetry and things like that. its just the way i am. I hate being looked down upon by women for it. just take pride in it and to hell with what the critics think! seek out like-minded people, and don't hide. if you hide who you are, then the women who will be interested in you won't be able to identify you as someone they would be interested in. |
|
|
|
Post by acohn13 on Mar 4, 2009 4:13:46 GMT -5
the following is a theory, and was wondering if it has any bearings on life? anyone feel free to tear this apart, change, alter, or make fun of as they see fit.
emotions= vulnerabilities
vulnerabilities= weakness
weakness= bad
so wouldn't emotions= bad?
guessing that they're pretty fragile, and it wouldn't take a lot to devestate someone. and from looking at people who do this kind of stuff, it looks more painful than anything. how can someone embrace something that will hurt more than anything else?
again, just a theory. but serious questions too...
|
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Mar 4, 2009 13:41:54 GMT -5
I think I got brainwashed by my ex and several other girls to believe that.
|
|
|
|
Post by nelo on Mar 4, 2009 16:29:16 GMT -5
We all know men aren't supposed to have emotions (insert sarcasm). Or else someone comes up with a retarded joke about guys with feelings already having boyfriends.
|
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Mar 4, 2009 16:31:16 GMT -5
Men aren't supposed to have too many emotions.
|
|
|
|
Post by YouNeedLove on Mar 4, 2009 17:33:42 GMT -5
you can be emotional, sensitive and everything as long as you are not weak, they dont want us to be insecure and mentally unstable :<
|
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Mar 5, 2009 16:41:30 GMT -5
In their opinion, emotional = weak.
|
|
|
|
Post by Procster on Mar 28, 2009 6:07:20 GMT -5
i hate that stereotype. Not all men have to be Paul Bunyan big and tough. If a guy has emotions and shows them hes branded a loser and a pussy. Its ridiculous. Im not a tough person at all its just not me. I cry at sad movies. I think bunny rabbits are cute. I write poetry and things like that. its just the way i am. I hate being looked down upon by women for it. just take pride in it and to hell with what the critics think! seek out like-minded people, and don't hide. if you hide who you are, then the women who will be interested in you won't be able to identify you as someone they would be interested in. To be honest I would have thought many girls would fancy a guy who can show his emotions... but what do i know i guess  |
|
jai
Full Member
Posts: 131
|
Post by jai on Apr 8, 2009 7:07:47 GMT -5
Im shy and when a girl takes interest in my im shocked like "how did u notice me with me being so queit" so i think why why whyy r u doing this to mee??? do u like me do u just want to be friends r u tryin 2 use me? when they try and talk 2 me i tend to be queit because im so friggin shy. but if u genuwinly like us guys tell us the truth and we'll stop being shy n be ourselves...
|
|
|
|
Post by bleaknunhappy on Apr 8, 2009 16:57:59 GMT -5
In my case it would be the lack of things to say during a conversation with a girl. I couldn't keep a conversation with a girl to save my life. Its weird, I don't freeze up or anything, my mind just kind of goes blank. I never really socialized very much with girls up to this point in my life.
When I do talk with girls, I feel that we are on a completely different wavelength. Like she doesn't understand what I am saying or something.
|
|
|
|
Post by bluetruth on Apr 12, 2009 23:49:11 GMT -5
What do you most worry about with regards to the opposite sex, or get nervous about? Rejection. It affects much of what I do in life. I have two major tendencies that I do that protect me from the pain of rejection in anything. The first is self-sabotage, where I will subconsciously do something that’ll irk the other person. The second is find a reason not to like someone, this is generally easier since after one mistake form the other person I give up. These are simply excuses that I use to overcome pain and heartache of developing friendships and relationships.
If say you're on facebook or myspace, do you worry about your page, like what's written on it? All the time. I will add things to my profile to make it more appealing only if they are true. I never remove something though. If you can’t deal with the real me then you have a problem not me.
If a girl you like writes to you are you ever too shy to write back? Or do you always managed to reply? I always reply. Usually it’s not an elaborate message though. If you ask a question, I’ll answer it. If you tell me a story and something stands out, I’ll ask a question.
If a girl you like writes to you how does it make you feel? It makes me feel happy and confused.
Do you worry about things you do in public? Sometimes. Generally I don’t care what I do in public since I’m under the impression that not many people like me to begin with, so why should I put forth an effort to put on a good show?
Do you feel uneasy when a girl you like is around? Yes. I’m always worried she’s not into me or is going to start flirting with someone else in the room. The girl I like started caressing another guy’s hair a few days ago, it drove me nuts, but since I don’t handle confrontation well I couldn’t say anything. This is even with me knowing both parties involved and knowing 100% that they’re not interested in one another. She just has a thing with playing with hair.
Are you more friendly and chatty to your male friends and just shy around people you don't know? Not particularly. That’s a result of a partially bad childhood. I was always the outcast in school while at home my parents loved me. Being the outcast, I was shunned by my peers and never developed the social skill necessary for what I need to do in the present.
Do you wish people took more time to try to get to know you, and tried to make conversation with you - or do you like being alone or as you are? Both. It really depends on what I’m doing and what I want to get done. I have a difficult time actually getting to know other people, so I’d prefer that they got to know me when I’m not wanting to be alone.
What do you dislike about yourself? My lack of social skills and my paranoia.
What do you think of your looks? I think that I have the body of a confident person and I simply lack the self-esteem and confidence to do anything about it.
Do you wish you look better? No, I’m happy with the way I look.
If a girl wrote and said 'I like your default pic' how would you feel? I would reply with a VERY short response basically saying “thank you”.
Would you think she was attracted to you or would you think she was just being friendly in a friend-type manner? I would think that she is attracted to me because she doesn’t know me very well and simply believes I’m cute. This is usually where the self-sabotage or seeking a reason to dislike someone comes into play.
If you were online and the girl you liked was online, what would you do? I might message her. I would debate for 30 minutes to an hour whether I should message her or not. Eventually she would either message me or log off, and if I finally got over my fears I’d be shouting profanities after I messaged her because I’m afraid she’ll reject me.
Would you try to write to her much or would you not? Yes. If I’m going to message someone, I feel a need to keep talking to her. If I feel like I’m being annoying, I’ll leave them alone and won’t talk to them for days at a time.
Would you just look at her page every so often? Yes. Probably 2-3 times a day to see if there were any changes in her profile.
would you not even think about girls as more than friends because you are shy and haven't had relationships so don't want to get your hopes up and think you have no chance anyway? I haven’t given up hope and know it’s possible to have relationships. They aren’t always the most pleasant though. I’ve been dumped a few times because I don’t know how to talk to strangers very well. I've been invited to a couple of high profile events where it was expected to socialize. I sort of lacked the whole "socializing" deal since I don't know how to and I'm not comfortable talking to strangers.
|
|
