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Post by ura on Oct 31, 2018 15:13:20 GMT -5
Rush is a great band. It's best not to take their lyrics too seriously but they sound great and Neil Peart is an excellent drummer.
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Post by ura on Aug 19, 2018 9:16:41 GMT -5
I've gone to about two meetup groups and have made some friends out of it, it can be daunting to begin with but they can be useful. I would just advise you go to a meetup group with an interest or a point like an anime meetup, rock climbing meetup, LARP meetup or football meetup. Something were the primary objective is something other than meeting people. It sounds silly I know but it can be a bit easier on you to meet people while focusing on something other than meeting people. I went once to a 20s meetup for people and everyone or most people just seemed like they were there to meet the opposite sex and there was this kind of desperate vibe given off.
I've made online friends by joining forums and eventually you begin to talk to random people online, I've found that works quite well.
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Post by ura on Jul 25, 2018 17:19:24 GMT -5
I'm childlike too, or a manchild anyway.
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Post by ura on Mar 25, 2018 19:27:00 GMT -5
I never got how a shy person could appear on camera, that idea seems terrifying to me, I have become a lot less shy but being on camera would make me nervous.
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Post by ura on Jan 9, 2018 19:44:38 GMT -5
I would be curious to know what games you have or at least your favourites, I've gotten into playing boardgames my collection sits at about four games. My previous general goals were to become less anxious and meet a girl (not quite related but they tie into each other), I gradually got over my anxiety/shyness in the past four years and I met a girl in 2017 so that's all good. I guess I could in general get better people skills, better at reading people/interacting with people etc. I think I will need to make a separate post to list the boardgames that I have to be honest. I find that Codenames, 7 Wonders, Tsuro and Get Bit prove to be popular amongst my small group of friends. Congratulations on meeting and spending time with a lady that you enjoy the company of, It is a wonderful feeling, I remember it once. Isn't it such a nuisance that both getting better people skills and reading/interacting people, requires us to face our anxieties, I'm sure that it is worth it but still...... Codenames is really good, I don't know Get Bit, what is that like? I think there's being introverted, being shy & not having great social skills/experience, those three are different but linked, it took me years to realise it. I actually do have a threshold of exhaustion from socialising.
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Post by ura on Jan 2, 2018 19:26:48 GMT -5
Nice boardgame collection. Sorry to hear about the job and the driving. I passed my driving test this year and was quite happy with it. I was really anxious when I first started driving but now I've completely gotten over that anxiety, you just need to be out on the road more, I think I remember you posting about this before. Thanks Ura, driving has always been a reoccurring topic for me so I have no doubt that I would have written a post about it on SU before. Will organise more driving practice using the family car (with dad by my side) so here is to success in 2018 My boardgame collections continue to grow despite not getting played often enough. Thank you for your compliment Happy New Year! Do you have any goals for 2018? I would be curious to know what games you have or at least your favourites, I've gotten into playing boardgames my collection sits at about four games. My previous general goals were to become less anxious and meet a girl (not quite related but they tie into each other), I gradually got over my anxiety/shyness in the past four years and I met a girl in 2017 so that's all good. I guess I could in general get better people skills, better at reading people/interacting with people etc.
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Post by ura on Jan 1, 2018 10:31:19 GMT -5
Hi outcast Reading the thread seems you've known her a long time now. From my perspective I've been so uncomfortable in the past whenever anyone's brought me anything so I can't imagine expecting it or putting pressure on someone to spend money on me when in fact I'd do the complete opposite. From what you've said it doesn't sound like you're dating and even if you were I'd say you'd have to be in a pretty serious relationship to get to the point of expensive gifts. Maybe you could try doing something together that doesn't involve spending money or going to the shops and see how it goes if she isn't interested it might be time to take a step back and only see each other if you have to or try meting her around other people and see if she acts differently. But I do understand not wanting to let things go when you feel you don't have anywhere else to go. Excellent advice. I wouldn't like that to be quite honest and that would make me hesitant to want to spend money on them.
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Post by ura on Dec 31, 2017 13:45:17 GMT -5
Nice boardgame collection. Sorry to hear about the job and the driving. I passed my driving test this year and was quite happy with it. I was really anxious when I first started driving but now I've completely gotten over that anxiety, you just need to be out on the road more, I think I remember you posting about this before.
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Post by ura on Dec 29, 2017 21:14:35 GMT -5
First I want to preface my reply by saying that firstly I have a cynical or negative bias of viewing people's actions/behaviour. Also, that I can only make judgements based on what you write here so I may be completely wrong in my beliefs. Hi Ura. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me on this. I think i'm also new to this as i really have not been in any kind of close relationship with a girl before. Normally i don't buy gifts to anyone besides a few members of my family. I didn't really give her any gifts in the beginning. I think it started when she gave me gifts for my birthday and Christmas. Of course, i appreciated the gesture and thought it only fair and nice to give her something in return as well. Of course i was initially surprised, but i really have not much experience in having friends, let alone a friend who also happens to be a girl. So i just thought maybe that's how some normally treat each other right? I mean i see some do it in tv shows and such. I think you maybe right that i probably spend more on her than she spends on me. It's probably because she comes from a not so well off family. But i do try to be careful so that i don't spend too much on her. So i was really caught off guard when she began pointing to really expensive watches (Some even had diamonds i think. Not sure if they were real.) See again I am cheap so I only buy a few games for my male friends or maybe some alcohol for them as a gift but that's about it. It's nice you have a friend who you can exchange gifts with. Hmm I think it started with a question. She asked me what was my Christmas gift to myself. I was a bit hesitant to say what it was since it was a bit expensive. (As i do tend to splurge on myself during Christmas. Since i got some bonus salary on hand as well some cash prizes from the Office Christmas Party.) So i didn't answer her question and instead asked her what her Christmas gift to herself was. That's when she started showing me and pointing to those expensive watches. But then she was hinting at me to buy one for her. I was speechless, i said i thought those were the items that she was of thinking of buying for herself. She may come from a well off family but i've seen her buy one or two expensive watches before. She likes collecting expensive watches. And some of her rich relatives do give her those types of gifts from time to time. Apparently, she also recalled what i bought myself last Christmas. Which was an LED TV since my old one broke down. She said the watch she wanted me to buy wasn't that expensive and almost cost the same as that LED TV i bought for myself last Christmas. From that, i gather that she may have been upset when i didn't go buy that watch she pointed to. After that i drove her near her home and parted ways. Normally she would thank me for the gift i gave her after we parted ways like that and she opened it. But this time she didn't. I guess she didn't like the gift i gave her this time. I had asked my brother's opinion on the gift i gave her. He said it looked nice and was pretty expensive for a blouse. But the price is something i could normally afford to gift a male friend too. I'll be honest, it sounds like money is definitely on her mind and from the outside it doesn't paint a nice picture of her intentions. If you like buying her stuff and spending money on her, that's fine I guess but I feel like you're being manipulated into spending possibly more money than you normally would spend and perhaps (this is assuming the worst of her) she knows how inexperienced you are and that perhaps you might buy her things. If that is the case then I would consider what she is doing to be manipulative and I would perhaps try matching the amount she spends on you. Sometimes she does seem nice but other times she does seem cold. That's why i am a bit torn and hesitant to go all out i guess. I'm not sure if we would really get along if we had a serious relationship. Physically i'm not that attracted to her, but she does look cute sometimes. What i appreciate about her is how she seems to tolerate me despite all my shortcomings. Maybe she's just keeping her temper in check and not showing it. She's still friendly with me when we meet. She seems patient with me and doesn't mind talking to me when we meet. I do sometimes worry on how she can be cold to me sometimes. When she doesn't message me. And sometimes wonder if she only likes me for what i can buy her in the future? So i don't know... I think that line of reasoning that you enjoy her company because she tolerates your shortcomings is not an ideal way to think to be quite honest. I feel like friendships should be a reciprocal thing and that you shouldn't be thankful that she tolerates your behaviour, you should both enjoy each others company.
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Post by ura on Dec 27, 2017 21:39:41 GMT -5
I don't think it's good that you are buying stuff for her, I think you probably spend more on her than she spends on you, you also said how other people have expressed concern about her asking you for favour think of it like this if it were a male friend would you have spent as much money on them? It seems a little worrying to me how she points out this expensive jewellery kind of like she expects it, I mean that's a bit of an ask for a friend, does she spend the same amount of money on you?
I'm kind of new to all this so my advice isn't great but I get the impression you do like her so perhaps you should try something.
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Post by ura on Dec 17, 2017 7:48:06 GMT -5
I've read a decent amount of self-help over the years and I've read Dale Carnegie's 'How to win friends and influence people' and the core message of the book was to be a nice person and people will want to be around you. I'll be honest I may be remembering it poorly since none of the book particularly stuck a chord with me. There was even a morally questionable chapter about being nice in such a way that almost seemed insincere and nearly sociopathic, that was just one chapter though.
The two self help books I've found to really help were a book on emotional intelligence and a CBT book. (Emotional intelligence by Daniel Goleman (I think & Feeling good by David Beirne) Both books helped me improve my mindset or perspective and unlike a few of them, weren't trying to sell me something.
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Post by ura on Sept 10, 2017 14:58:27 GMT -5
That sounds like it would be quite enjoyable, I would love to try it.
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Post by ura on Aug 8, 2017 19:10:41 GMT -5
What happened that made you think like that? Well, they are thoughts I've had off and on throughout the years. Especially when anything bad or unfair happens...especially to family or young or vulnerable people that don't deserve it. Specifically this time, though, it's more a selfish "woe is me" feeling I've had lately. Feeling like I'm absolutely cursed or something. I don't fully know what's happening, but my mind spins out of control, like with many things. I've had some eye issues over the past 6 months or so, and it's being 'investigated' (for lack of a better word)...and I find it frustrating and terrifying to no end. Again, I don't really know what's going on for sure. But I don't like the very real possibilities that exist. The good and bad thing is, I may never really know for a long while. It's a total waiting game. Then again, that's life in a nutshell really. We only have so much control over so many things. There is just no rhyme or reason the way some things happen. But I still have to force myself to try and think "everything happens for a reason." Regardless of how crappy the situation or circumstances. I don't have those thoughts but I have known some people that have just had an easy ride through life and it previously made me jealous. I had a very bad period of bad luck, all hitting me in the space of a three week period and it felt awful, that was years ago but I've since gotten over them. That eye issue sounds like it would be frustrating. I absolutely believe we don't control our lives, that there's no real karma (there is karma in so far as arseholes are eventually hated by people for being arseholes and people eventually respond in kind to them, at least that's what I've found).
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Post by ura on Aug 2, 2017 11:16:11 GMT -5
What happened that made you think like that?
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Post by ura on Jul 27, 2017 6:56:20 GMT -5
She is afraid of the drone, the drone hit the ground a couple of times and in that time the propeller got caught in Samoyed hair.
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