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Diary
May 26, 2015 9:11:56 GMT -5
Post by silence on May 26, 2015 9:11:56 GMT -5
So I've developed this really bad habit lately when on the weekends I'll spend the evening on my computer but come around 9/10 o'clock I'll start feeling a bit tired, so I'll go for a bit of a lie down in bed. Which feels really nice just closing my eyes for a bit but then I always end up falling asleep still fully clothed with my computer on in the background. I'll usually wake up about 3 totally regretting my life and attempt to get myself ready for bed. I've done this for the past three nights. I really need to stop! You are not alone. I've done this too and I also wake up regretting my life, lol! and after writing all of that I did it again last night. Ugh I'm such a mess but I don't know how to stop. still I'm glad I'm not the only one that does it! I hope you get to meet some great people out there! In my opinion, if we have the chance to meet people like us with whom we feel confortable, it helps a lot.  Thanks! Honestly at this point I don't think I could feel comfortable with non shy people. I need someone who understands and won't judge me. |
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Diary
May 26, 2015 10:40:07 GMT -5
Post by puppet on May 26, 2015 10:40:07 GMT -5
From experience, it is the case for me. I feel more or less at ease with people who share the same issues as me while having a really hard time with people at ease socially. It's incredible that feeling of being understood. It's like we're not alien anymore but we actually fit in with other human beings like us. It doesn't fix our issues but it sure brings some warmth inside our cold bubble. I hope you will have the chance I had on finding some of them.  |
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Diary
May 27, 2015 19:18:01 GMT -5
Post by StarFall on May 27, 2015 19:18:01 GMT -5
You are not alone. I've done this too and I also wake up regretting my life, lol! and after writing all of that I did it again last night. Ugh I'm such a mess but I don't know how to stop. still I'm glad I'm not the only one that does it! I wish I had some advice that would help, but the truth is I repeatedly do it too, even after telling myself that this time will be the last time. For me it's like some switch goes on in the evening where I go from being awake to being so dead tired that I can't get ready for bed without taking a nap first. Then interrupting my "nap" to get ready for bed just causes me to be more tired the next day. |
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Diary
May 30, 2015 16:58:26 GMT -5
Post by Stranger on May 30, 2015 16:58:26 GMT -5
So I've developed this really bad habit lately when on the weekends I'll spend the evening on my computer but come around 9/10 o'clock I'll start feeling a bit tired, so I'll go for a bit of a lie down in bed. Which feels really nice just closing my eyes for a bit but then I always end up falling asleep still fully clothed with my computer on in the background. I'll usually wake up about 3 totally regretting my life and attempt to get myself ready for bed. I've done this for the past three nights. I really need to stop! That... actually doesn't sound that bad to me. What I do instead is stay up way too late every night during the week, crash on Friday, and wake up at like 2pm on the weekend. Then wonder why I have nothing to say when people ask what I did on the weekend.  |
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Diary
Jun 7, 2015 11:10:50 GMT -5
Post by silence on Jun 7, 2015 11:10:50 GMT -5
From experience, it is the case for me. I feel more or less at ease with people who share the same issues as me while having a really hard time with people at ease socially. It's incredible that feeling of being understood. It's like we're not alien anymore but we actually fit in with other human beings like us. It doesn't fix our issues but it sure brings some warmth inside our cold bubble. I hope you will have the chance I had on finding some of them. That's cool and makes me want to reach out to similar people. So have you been to meetups if you don't mind me asking? and after writing all of that I did it again last night. Ugh I'm such a mess but I don't know how to stop. still I'm glad I'm not the only one that does it! I wish I had some advice that would help, but the truth is I repeatedly do it too, even after telling myself that this time will be the last time. For me it's like some switch goes on in the evening where I go from being awake to being so dead tired that I can't get ready for bed without taking a nap first. Then interrupting my "nap" to get ready for bed just causes me to be more tired the next day. Well it's the weekend again and I failed both nights! Let me know if you figure it out. Those naps are just so tempting aren't they! So I've developed this really bad habit lately when on the weekends I'll spend the evening on my computer but come around 9/10 o'clock I'll start feeling a bit tired, so I'll go for a bit of a lie down in bed. Which feels really nice just closing my eyes for a bit but then I always end up falling asleep still fully clothed with my computer on in the background. I'll usually wake up about 3 totally regretting my life and attempt to get myself ready for bed. I've done this for the past three nights. I really need to stop! That... actually doesn't sound that bad to me. What I do instead is stay up way too late every night during the week, crash on Friday, and wake up at like 2pm on the weekend. Then wonder why I have nothing to say when people ask what I did on the weekend. haha well there is that. The thing is I really miss staying up late I feel I could get a lot more done if I was able to. But yeah waking up late on the weekend is the worst I try and get up between 8 and 9 was slightly later earlier and felt like I'd wasted the day. aah the dreaded what did you do on the weekend question I now it well. I am lucky that I work with as couple of geeky guys who play computer games so I can get away with saying I played games all weekend and they don't judge me too much but with everyone else it's awkward. |
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Diary
Jun 7, 2015 13:53:19 GMT -5
Post by puppet on Jun 7, 2015 13:53:19 GMT -5
That's cool and makes me want to reach out to similar people. So have you been to meetups if you don't mind me asking? I don't mind. Yes. I have been to some meetups with French and Belgian people I have met on a forum. Since last year I have tried to go to some of them and I had some very nice experiences as well as bad ones. Now I try to keep in touch with some of the people I have met which is kind of incredible knowing where I come from... |
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Diary
Jun 15, 2015 14:26:38 GMT -5
Post by silence on Jun 15, 2015 14:26:38 GMT -5
That's cool and makes me want to reach out to similar people. So have you been to meetups if you don't mind me asking? I don't mind. Yes. I have been to some meetups with French and Belgian people I have met on a forum. Since last year I have tried to go to some of them and I had some very nice experiences as well as bad ones. Now I try to keep in touch with some of the people I have met which is kind of incredible knowing where I come from... You're definitely braver that me! I feel like the first bad experience would put me off. But I do like the idea of having regular meets gives you something to look forward to. Nice that you can stay in touch with people. The only way to move on is to push ourselves. I'm having some success posting on other forums trouble is they move quite fast and I'm very slow at posting  |
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Diary
Jun 16, 2015 6:38:27 GMT -5
Post by puppet on Jun 16, 2015 6:38:27 GMT -5
You're definitely braver that me! I feel like the first bad experience would put me off. But I do like the idea of having regular meets gives you something to look forward to. Nice that you can stay in touch with people. The only way to move on is to push ourselves. I'm having some success posting on other forums trouble is they move quite fast and I'm very slow at posting Thank you. I might be braver in some situations but I have yet to go to a show by myself. It took me a long time before getting where I am. I have been trying since 2009 and for years it has been really unsuccessful. It's really since last year that I have kind of broke through. I have had my ups and downs. At times, I tried to isolate myself. And, it got me thinking. It's not possible for me to be alone for too long. Every time I go into a deep depression. That's really what made me change my way of doing things. How can I have people around me? How to cope with those meetings? Don't ask for to much, don't expect things, just go and meet them. Hopefully I'll have a good time. Worst case, I'll be down for a week and then I'll just have to try again. Little by little, it gets less complicated. You understand what kind of meetings you are more or less comfortable with and which one to avoid. And, by chance, I have met 2 or 3 persons I like to chat with and meet. Only issue is they live far. It doesn't solve everything, far from it, but I'm able to meet people like me. And it's really nice when you don't expect more. So yeah. We need to get out from the comfort zone. Still, one thing I can't get to improve is my conversational skills. Ahah. I get that feeling too. They are posting so many messages so when I want to say something it's usually too late. ^^ |
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Diary
Jun 21, 2015 10:14:06 GMT -5
Post by silence on Jun 21, 2015 10:14:06 GMT -5
You're definitely braver that me! I feel like the first bad experience would put me off. But I do like the idea of having regular meets gives you something to look forward to. Nice that you can stay in touch with people. The only way to move on is to push ourselves. I'm having some success posting on other forums trouble is they move quite fast and I'm very slow at posting Thank you. I might be braver in some situations but I have yet to go to a show by myself. It took me a long time before getting where I am. I have been trying since 2009 and for years it has been really unsuccessful. It's really since last year that I have kind of broke through. I have had my ups and downs. At times, I tried to isolate myself. And, it got me thinking. It's not possible for me to be alone for too long. Every time I go into a deep depression. That's really what made me change my way of doing things. How can I have people around me? How to cope with those meetings? Don't ask for to much, don't expect things, just go and meet them. Hopefully I'll have a good time. Worst case, I'll be down for a week and then I'll just have to try again. Little by little, it gets less complicated. You understand what kind of meetings you are more or less comfortable with and which one to avoid. And, by chance, I have met 2 or 3 persons I like to chat with and meet. Only issue is they live far. It doesn't solve everything, far from it, but I'm able to meet people like me. And it's really nice when you don't expect more. So yeah. We need to get out from the comfort zone. Still, one thing I can't get to improve is my conversational skills. Ahah. I get that feeling too. They are posting so many messages so when I want to say something it's usually too late. ^^ Yeah I totally understand that I don't want to be alone but I don't connect well with people so that's the way it is. I was happier with this a few years ago but now I am starting to change. So I think I'm at the stage you were and now I'm more willing to try and make changes. Of course just because I want to be around people doesn't mean they want to be around me! I agree going into this with an open mind and reminding myself I have nothing to lose might be the best way to do it. My job contract ends September 2016 and I can't see it being renewed and (if I even make it to that point) I really want to have made some progress by then. I feel I need to start now if I have any hope of changing. ah yes conversation skills they are hard I either need to find someone chatty who can talk for both of us or someone who enjoys and feels as comfortable in silence as I do. It's a shame we're all too spread out here otherwise I might suggest a Shyunited meetup  |
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Diary
Jun 22, 2015 7:58:55 GMT -5
Post by puppet on Jun 22, 2015 7:58:55 GMT -5
Yeah I totally understand that I don't want to be alone but I don't connect well with people so that's the way it is. I was happier with this a few years ago but now I am starting to change. So I think I'm at the stage you were and now I'm more willing to try and make changes. Of course just because I want to be around people doesn't mean they want to be around me! I agree going into this with an open mind and reminding myself I have nothing to lose might be the best way to do it. My job contract ends September 2016 and I can't see it being renewed and (if I even make it to that point) I really want to have made some progress by then. I feel I need to start now if I have any hope of changing. ah yes conversation skills they are hard I either need to find someone chatty who can talk for both of us or someone who enjoys and feels as comfortable in silence as I do. It's a shame we're all too spread out here otherwise I might suggest a Shyunited meetup I hope you'll get to make those progresses. Do you have goals you want to achieve? That's what I thought too at a time. I need to find chatty people to have a conversation. But, in the end, I think it's better to look out for someone who makes you feel comfortable. Of course, if he/she has a lot of conversation, it's always a good thing. What I found really incredible was when I was able to talk about my story, my experience of life, my issues, with others and to discover that some felt the same. It would have been nice to have some meetups. |
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Diary
Jul 12, 2015 8:48:16 GMT -5
Post by silence on Jul 12, 2015 8:48:16 GMT -5
Yeah I totally understand that I don't want to be alone but I don't connect well with people so that's the way it is. I was happier with this a few years ago but now I am starting to change. So I think I'm at the stage you were and now I'm more willing to try and make changes. Of course just because I want to be around people doesn't mean they want to be around me! I agree going into this with an open mind and reminding myself I have nothing to lose might be the best way to do it. My job contract ends September 2016 and I can't see it being renewed and (if I even make it to that point) I really want to have made some progress by then. I feel I need to start now if I have any hope of changing. ah yes conversation skills they are hard I either need to find someone chatty who can talk for both of us or someone who enjoys and feels as comfortable in silence as I do. It's a shame we're all too spread out here otherwise I might suggest a Shyunited meetup I hope you'll get to make those progresses. Do you have goals you want to achieve? That's what I thought too at a time. I need to find chatty people to have a conversation. But, in the end, I think it's better to look out for someone who makes you feel comfortable. Of course, if he/she has a lot of conversation, it's always a good thing. What I found really incredible was when I was able to talk about my story, my experience of life, my issues, with others and to discover that some felt the same. It would have been nice to have some meetups. Once again it's been a while sorry! Work stress etc. Just want to keep my head down until my contract expires or I'm told to leave. Right now I'd like to leave sooner than later but then I think what would I do I'll just go back to how I was before. My goals going out more/friends/relationship I guess. I hate to say it but since turning 30 I've started to feel more pressure, like I have less time to mess around. On the social anxiety UK forum people were talking about it and I'm just going to copy and paste my answer from there as I'm lazy and it's hard for me to think about. "I was never interested before but I had a really vivid dream a while ago where I had 5 children which you would think would be a nightmare but even that didn't put me off I also have a bit of guilt that my parents don't have any grandchildren yet. All of my other uncles and aunts are now grandparents and we're the only ones without. I feel so bad! I do feel a bit of resentment towards my older sister who's in a long term relationship and owns a 4 bedroom house but still hasn't had any children yet. I'm worried she won't and it'll be left down to me and I'm not even close to that stage right now. I don't know if I'll be a good parent or have anything to offer to a partner/child. But after years of instability the idea of a stable family life appeals a lot." I do really hate that I feel this was and never thought it would be something that bothered me! Yeah I'm so used to people talking over me and not really being interested in what I have to say so I think it would be nice to have people who understand want to listen to me. There were a lot of people here from the UK but I don't think there are any more and now I think we're all quite spread out, which is a shame. |
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Diary
Jul 12, 2015 15:41:37 GMT -5
Post by puppet on Jul 12, 2015 15:41:37 GMT -5
Once again it's been a while sorry! Work stress etc. Just want to keep my head down until my contract expires or I'm told to leave. Right now I'd like to leave sooner than later but then I think what would I do I'll just go back to how I was before. My goals going out more/friends/relationship I guess. I hate to say it but since turning 30 I've started to feel more pressure, like I have less time to mess around. On the social anxiety UK forum people were talking about it and I'm just going to copy and paste my answer from there as I'm lazy and it's hard for me to think about. "I was never interested before but I had a really vivid dream a while ago where I had 5 children which you would think would be a nightmare but even that didn't put me off I also have a bit of guilt that my parents don't have any grandchildren yet. All of my other uncles and aunts are now grandparents and we're the only ones without. I feel so bad! I do feel a bit of resentment towards my older sister who's in a long term relationship and owns a 4 bedroom house but still hasn't had any children yet. I'm worried she won't and it'll be left down to me and I'm not even close to that stage right now. I don't know if I'll be a good parent or have anything to offer to a partner/child. But after years of instability the idea of a stable family life appeals a lot." I do really hate that I feel this was and never thought it would be something that bothered me! Yeah I'm so used to people talking over me and not really being interested in what I have to say so I think it would be nice to have people who understand want to listen to me. There were a lot of people here from the UK but I don't think there are any more and now I think we're all quite spread out, which is a shame. Don't be sorry. I understand it's not possible to get answers right away and that people have their life. I guess you are looking for a job elsewhere? Or maybe it is too much stressful for you at the moment? Yeah. I have the same feeling. The more time passes the more I feel empty. I hope you will be able to move forward with your goals. I hate social pressure. People wanting me to be in some specific situation (getting married, having kids,...). It is so much pressure to take on... I hope you'll find those people ready to listen and to understand you. Do you have more luck finding people to meet in the other forum? Good luck. |
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Diary
Aug 13, 2015 15:56:13 GMT -5
Post by silence on Aug 13, 2015 15:56:13 GMT -5
blah so unexpected changes took me away for a while Just when I was starting to plan for the future, thinking if I could become slightly more social, maybe exercise a bit more by the time my contract runs out I'll be in a much better place, I was quite relaxed thinking, ok I have until September 2016 I just need to focus and use my time my wisely... I unexpectedly get called into my bosses office and was told that my contract will be ending this September. They're getting rid of me and my two other colleges who were on the same contract. We did have an idea something might happen when cost cuts were mentioned. I think they gave us 8 weeks notice which to me doesn't feel like a lot and now I'm at a complete lose at what to do. The idea of going back to job interviews and having to start somewhere new is terrifying and I wasn't prepared to have to do it this soon. Ii's funny now reading my previous post I really need to update my CV and contact some agencies. The temptation I have is to take some time off before starting looking but I know how easily it will be to fall into bad habits and just give up. My parents are ok about it but I do think they are disappointed. They probably feel like they'll never get rid of me! Also the other day my mum mentioned grandchildren she did say she thought she was too young to be a grandmother but I think there was a little bit of seriousness there. Why she said it to me I don't know, she needs to get on to my sister about it, I'm a lost cause! Once again it's been a while sorry! Work stress etc. Just want to keep my head down until my contract expires or I'm told to leave. Right now I'd like to leave sooner than later but then I think what would I do I'll just go back to how I was before. My goals going out more/friends/relationship I guess. I hate to say it but since turning 30 I've started to feel more pressure, like I have less time to mess around. On the social anxiety UK forum people were talking about it and I'm just going to copy and paste my answer from there as I'm lazy and it's hard for me to think about. "I was never interested before but I had a really vivid dream a while ago where I had 5 children which you would think would be a nightmare but even that didn't put me off I also have a bit of guilt that my parents don't have any grandchildren yet. All of my other uncles and aunts are now grandparents and we're the only ones without. I feel so bad! I do feel a bit of resentment towards my older sister who's in a long term relationship and owns a 4 bedroom house but still hasn't had any children yet. I'm worried she won't and it'll be left down to me and I'm not even close to that stage right now. I don't know if I'll be a good parent or have anything to offer to a partner/child. But after years of instability the idea of a stable family life appeals a lot." I do really hate that I feel this was and never thought it would be something that bothered me! Yeah I'm so used to people talking over me and not really being interested in what I have to say so I think it would be nice to have people who understand want to listen to me. There were a lot of people here from the UK but I don't think there are any more and now I think we're all quite spread out, which is a shame. Don't be sorry. I understand it's not possible to get answers right away and that people have their life. I guess you are looking for a job elsewhere? Or maybe it is too much stressful for you at the moment? Yeah. I have the same feeling. The more time passes the more I feel empty. I hope you will be able to move forward with your goals. I hate social pressure. People wanting me to be in some specific situation (getting married, having kids,...). It is so much pressure to take on... I hope you'll find those people ready to listen and to understand you. Do you have more luck finding people to meet in the other forum? Good luck. Not yet. I need to go back and start posting on the other forum. Hopefully I can find some people now I'm likely to have more time on my hands! |
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Diary
Aug 16, 2015 13:00:15 GMT -5
Post by puppet on Aug 16, 2015 13:00:15 GMT -5
That's a really unfortunate news.  I can only try to imagine the shock it must have been. Yeah. You probably should start looking for a job right away. But don't forget to get some time for you. I hate it when the parents are putting pressure on their kid. I know the feeling and I know it's maybe normal for parents to have expectations but... let us live our life. If it is has to happen, it will. Otherwise, that's just how it is. It is already difficult as it is. I hope you find good people out there. It's sad I'm not from UK. Good luck! And may the Force be with you! |
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Diary
Aug 19, 2015 6:13:10 GMT -5
Post by puppet on Aug 19, 2015 6:13:10 GMT -5
haha yeah Attack on Titan was what brought me back really enjoyed the series. As for the others I've not really heard of them so I'll check them out thanks! I think I'm becoming more opened to different genres, don't judge me I'm watching more school romance dramas XD...but I do still like the mecha, sci-fi, post apocalyptic stuff.
It will be in 2 parts. |
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