how can i meet a woman

[logan546]

i am 32 and extremely shy and have a hard time meeting women. how do i just go up to one and attempt to start a conversation. i dont like the bar scene and i am flustered. where do i meet them

[Sweet Pea]

is that the hooves of a herd of seduction experts i hear pounding towards us in the distance?

oh well, anyways...don't know what you've tried, but the only sure way to come into contact (thus meet) women is to either get on the computer and use dating sites or leave the house and do social things where women are. women are out there doing a million and one things...pick a few that are interesting to you. you can do targeted activities like speed dating, or you can do interest-based stuff like cooking classes, target shooting, gyms, board game clubs at bookstores, rock climbing, you name it. talking to women gets easier the more you practice it. you need practice. go forth and get practice.

[airburst]

logan546 said:

where do i meet them

What are you interested in? What do you like to do for fun?

[ball4yourout]

I'm totally with you, bud.

I'm in the same boat myself, so I can't really answer your question. However, I will say that its not really enough to find a place where girls are. Sometimes, being in the presence of lots of women only serves to make the situation even more unbearable. You have to be able to socialize and socializing is ultimately what its all about.

[annaa]

ball4yourout said:

You have to be able to socialize and socializing is ultimately what its all about.

Noooooo!!!!

[Sweet Pea]

ball4yourout said:

I'm totally with you, bud.

I'm in the same boat myself, so I can't really answer your question. However, I will say that its not really enough to find a place where girls are. Sometimes, being in the presence of lots of women only serves to make the situation even more unbearable. You have to be able to socialize and socializing is ultimately what its all about.

that might be true if you try talking to one once and then go home and beat yourself up for 6 months cuz it didn't turn out exactly the way you'd hoped. but if you consistently over time engage in activities you're interested in, and while doing so talk to women whenever you get the chance regardless of the outcome, you will become practiced at talking to women.

[lennythegiant]

sweetpea said:

is that the hooves of a herd of seduction experts i hear pounding towards us in the distance?

I hope not.

Their..."theories" are interesting, but still not something I'd pay money to learn about.

I'm curious...do any girls feel insulted by the whole pickup artist thing? I'm sure it works on women in bars who are drunk and/or maybe not looking for anything of substance in guys they choose (a long winded way of saying 'easy' I guess), but I'd still think the average girl, after reading about these tactics herself, would at the whole thing.

I'm certainly not in the position to be turning down women left and right, but I always figured I was better off fumbling a little in whatever social situation I'm in then blowing money on a book about all these tricks and crap.

I need help in learning where I can meet women, too. I'm not too comfortable on the freeway just yet, so that's probably why. Otherwise I'm in a town where I'm not sure where people hang out exactly, even though I've lived there my whole life.

[annaa]

lennythegiant said:

...but I'd still think the average girl, after reading about these tactics herself, would at the whole thing..

More like at the whole thing.
These generalisations that "pick-up artists" make are disgusting, and yes, very insulting.

[MrNice]

generally people offer no bridge between going to a bookstore (as an example of general advice) and actually approaching a girl and saying something
thats where the pick up artists come in
they have tried and true strategies for learning to do this successfully

[lennythegiant]

lsdima said:

generally people offer no bridge between going to a bookstore (as an example of general advice) and actually approaching a girl and saying something
thats where the pick up artists come in
they have tried and true strategies for learning to do this successfully

What about all that crap where that dude dressed like a doofus, like on that show? And all those goofy pick up lines?

[annaa]

lsdima said:

generally people offer no bridge between going to a bookstore (as an example of general advice) and actually approaching a girl and saying something
thats where the pick up artists come in
they have tried and true strategies for learning to do this successfully

Well I suppose it depends on what the guy is after.
If all you want is a cheap piece of pussy, then these "pick-up artists" might well be the way forward.

[airburst]

lennythegiant said:

I'm certainly not in the position to be turning down women left and right, but I always figured I was better off fumbling a little in whatever social situation I'm in then blowing money on a book about all these tricks and crap.

Have you ever tried any of those "tricks and crap?"

[naganuma]

1. things directly related to dating like dating sites or speed dating or blah blah blah

2. groups or clubs etc that do something you like and have women members who you can talk to about that subject at first then move onto other things or just practice talking to.

so basically what everyone else has said regurgitated minus the pick up line ****

[lennythegiant]

airburst said:

lennythegiant said:

I'm certainly not in the position to be turning down women left and right, but I always figured I was better off fumbling a little in whatever social situation I'm in then blowing money on a book about all these tricks and crap.

Have you ever tried any of those "tricks and crap?"

Have you? The ones I saw on that television show all seemed pretty stupid.

Plus I hate the "cocky and funny" suggestion, because most will probably misinterpret it as acting like a prick. Really what they should be suggesting is, "don't act like a people pleasing wuss because it will make people suspicious and make it seem like you want something desperately".

"Pick up artistry", is just a way to make money off of guys who lack self esteem and confidence. Plenty of men have been able to have relationships without these tricks. The lack of girlfriend or getting laid or whatever it is you want isn't really the problem, it's just a symptom of an overall lack of confidence. A lot of other aspects of their lives may need fixing in order for them to feel good about themselves, but looking at the big picture is what's important and not the fact that they can't get laid.

I used to be hung up on not being able to get girls too, and really it's wasted energy because now I realize the problem is I have a lot to fix in my life first, I have to find reasons to be confident in myself first.

[phoenixferret]

lennythegiant said:

Plenty of men have been able to have relationships without these tricks. The lack of girlfriend or getting laid or whatever it is you want isn't really the problem, it's just a symptom of an overall lack of confidence. A lot of other aspects of their lives may need fixing in order for them to feel good about themselves, but looking at the big picture is what's important and not the fact that they can't get laid.

*applause*