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Post by Bodhi on Jan 25, 2006 23:26:27 GMT -5
Well, I went to New York today and was set to meet the girl I'd been talking to online. I was extremely nervous, although as the day wore on I had a more excited nervousness.We had planned to go to a starbucks near her school at 4. Well, I get there, buy my coffee and sit down waiting, waiting, waiting... It gets to be 4:30 and still she hasn't shown up. So I go outside and walk around, thinking maybe there is another starbucks that she means. But no. I walk back and stand around another 15 minutes and nothing. So I give up and go home very, very depressed. Well when i got back tonight I go online and she is online and I ask her what happened. She said she was there, but came a little before 4 and didn't see me and then decided to walk around and hoped to see me. She then said she went back a little later, but maybe just after I left. Well this is all very discouraging to me. Why didn't she just go into the coffee shop and wait, why was she walking around? Maybe she is making this up and really just stood me up? But then she tells me as she was waiting she saw this group of school girls in green dresses, and then i'm like, wait I saw those girls too as I was walking around after 4:30. So we both must have been outside near the coffee shop at the same time, but somehow we missed each other. I don't know what to think. I guess i could have seen her and not recognized her, there were alot of people walking around. So I'm really trying to hope this was all bad luck, but it seems too unlucky that we missed each other. I'm thinking either she doesn't really like me or want to meet that badly, thus she didn't take the whole thing seriously and was just hanging around hoping we'd miss each other. Or she's avoident and was getting nervous and thats why she didn't stay and just walked around. She keeps saying she was kicking herself we didn't meet and was mad afterwards and thought I might have stood her up. So she says she wants to meet again, but I just am very supicious she is just saying that to be nice. I think maybe she really doesn't want to meet and is making excuses(first it was her schedule makes it hard to meet, then when I find a way to meet in her schedule we somehow miss each other) Its just supicious, I'm thinking of giving up. I might ask her one last time to meet, but even if she agreed I'd have to go through the hassle of getting to New York again. Maybe fate is frowning on this becoming anything, I mean we can't even meet. I actually had the thought when I was sitting there waiting and she didn't show up that she wasn't real, that I made her up in my imagination and she never existed in reality. That I had gone crazy and made up an entire girl in my mind. I get strange thoughts like that sometimes. I also thought afterwards the entire day was a dream and I would wake up, but it never happened unfortunatly.
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Post by pnoopiepnats on Jan 25, 2006 23:46:36 GMT -5
Well, I went to New York today and was set to meet the girl I'd been talking to online. We had planned to go to a starbucks near her school at 4. Well, I get there, buy my coffee and sit down waiting, waiting, waiting... It gets to be 4:30 and still she hasn't shown up. So I go outside and walk around, thinking maybe there is another starbucks that she means. But no. I walk back and stand around another 15 minutes and nothing. So I give up and go home very, very depressed. Well when i got back tonight I go online and she is online and I ask her what happened. She said she was there, but came a little before 4 and didn't see me and then decided to walk around and hoped to see me. She then said she went back a little later, but maybe just after I left. Well this is all very discouraging to me. Why didn't she just go into the coffee shop and wait, why was she walking around? Maybe she is making this up and really just stood me up? But then she tells me as she was waiting she saw this group of school girls in green dresses, and then i'm like, wait I saw those girls too as I was walking around after 4:30. So we both must have been outside near the coffee shop at the same time, but somehow we missed each other. I don't know what to think. I guess i could have seen her and not recognized her, there were alot of people walking around. So I'm really trying to hope this was all bad luck, but it seems too unlucky that we missed each other. I'm thinking either she doesn't really like me or want to meet that badly, thus she didn't take the whole thing seriously and was just hanging around hoping we'd miss each other. Or she's avoident and was getting nervous and thats why she didn't stay and just walked around. She keeps saying she was kicking herself we didn't meet and was mad afterwards and thought I might have stood her up. So she says she wants to meet again, but I just am very supicious she is just saying that to be nice. I think maybe she really doesn't want to meet and is making excuses(first it was her schedule makes it hard to meet, then when I find a way to meet in her schedule we somehow miss each other) Its just supicious, I'm thinking of giving up. I might ask her one last time to meet, but even if she agreed I'd have to go through the hassle of getting to New York again. Maybe fate is frowning on this becoming anything, I mean we can't even meet. Hate to say it but I think she is lying. She knew she was supposed to meet you at 4pm, why didn't she go in and wait for you? If you both had mobiles why didn't she call you? If she was really there early and you were there on time and you waited there for 30 minutes the first time then another 15 minutes, she surely would have seen you if she was really there. As for the school girls in green, if that place is near her school she probably goes by there a lot and knows school girls would be around there at that time.
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Post by zaab on Jan 26, 2006 0:11:20 GMT -5
Yeah, I think I'd be pretty ticked off if that happened to me. Unless she gives you a plausible explanation of what happened, and it better be good, I'd move on pretty quickly. If she got scared and fled the scene, fine, but at least she should own up to it, or else she doesn't deserve another chance.
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Post by Bodhi on Jan 26, 2006 0:23:15 GMT -5
Hate to say it but I think she is lying. She knew she was supposed to meet you at 4pm, why didn't she go in and wait for you? If you both had mobiles why didn't she call you? If she was really there early and you were there on time and you waited there for 30 minutes the first time then another 15 minutes, she surely would have seen you if she was really there. As for the school girls in green, if that place is near her school she probably goes by there a lot and knows school girls would be around there at that time. I do think she is not telling the entire truth and holding something back. But we never exchanged cell phone numbers so that's not a reason. But its just strange we missed each other. I would hope she isn't completly lying and never even went to meet me. I hope she was at least there. But it seems if she was there, she was acting strange for some reason.
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Post by Scotty on Jan 26, 2006 0:40:29 GMT -5
Why didn't you exchange cell phone numbers? That would have been a sensible thing to do if you are meeting up somewhere in public.
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Post by Bodhi on Jan 26, 2006 0:53:45 GMT -5
Why didn't you exchange cell phone numbers? That would have been a sensible thing to do if you are meeting up somewhere in public. I know, I'm an idiot, I didn't think about it. Next time I meet someone I will be sure to do that.
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Post by Samantha on Jan 26, 2006 7:29:34 GMT -5
Personally I would be rather sceptical about it all but still, I think it is good to give people the benefit of the doubt at least once. While it does seem odd, people aren't always logical I guess.
Even though it didn't go as planned you are moving in the right direction. There are still positives even if it doesn't work out with this girl, which it still might.
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Post by sushiboat on Jan 26, 2006 11:06:10 GMT -5
Yeah, get a cell phone number next time. Perhaps that was avoidance on your part, due to discomfort with talking on the phone?
I would tell the girl that she is welcome to meet up with you if she comes to Allentown, but you have no plans to return to NYC in the near future. You made a long trip, so there was more responsibility on her shoulders to do her part. Leaving before the appointed time was not cool.
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Post by ladyad on Jan 26, 2006 11:19:49 GMT -5
Yeah, get a cell phone number next time. Perhaps that was avoidance on your part, due to discomfort with talking on the phone? I would tell the girl that she is welcome to meet up with you if she comes to Allentown, but you have no plans to return to NYC in the near future. You made a long trip, so there was more responsibility on her shoulders to do her part. Leaving before the appointed time was not cool. I would have to agree there. Meet in a some other town that is in between you guys. If she has to travel a little to meet then she might be less likely to avoid you (if that was her intent last time). And remember to give her your cell number at least. Ya you know the rest from me.
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Post by MrNice on Jan 26, 2006 11:43:56 GMT -5
take it easy she stood you up, it happens - it sucks you did everything you could you can do better next time
even if her story is true - it means she flaked out right before the date - doesn't change the fact that she is not that interested if interested at all being at starbucks at 4 - what could be simpler then that? its time to ring the other girl from myspace
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Post by Bodhi on Jan 26, 2006 11:53:58 GMT -5
I would have to agree there. Meet in a some other town that is in between you guys. If she has to travel a little to meet then she might be less likely to avoid you (if that was her intent last time) Can't do it because she doesn't drive, she doesn't have to I guess living in NYC. take it easy she stood you up, it happens - it sucks you did everything you could you can do better next time even if her story is true - it means she flaked out right before the date - doesn't change the fact that she is not that interested if interested at all being at starbucks at 4 - what could be simpler then that? its time to ring the other girl from myspace Yeah, you're right, it makes no sense she didn't just stay in the starbucks at 4 and waited. I think I might have to move on, but its depressing. I still don't know why she did it though, we got along talking online, she agreed to meet, why would she stand me up? I mean she didn't even give me a chance to talk to her in person before rejecting me. What am I doing wrong?
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Post by ladyad on Jan 26, 2006 12:00:08 GMT -5
Yeah, you're right, it makes no sense she didn't just stay in the starbucks at 4 and waited. I think I might have to move on, but its depressing. I still don't know why she did it though, we got along talking online, she agreed to meet, why would she stand me up? I mean she didn't even give me a chance to talk to her in person before rejecting me. What am I doing wrong? It's best not to think of why she did what she did, it's when can you move on. Honestly, she doesn't sound like that great of a person and I think you should try the other girl for a meet.
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Post by zaab on Jan 26, 2006 12:19:01 GMT -5
I would have to agree there. Meet in a some other town that is in between you guys. If she has to travel a little to meet then she might be less likely to avoid you (if that was her intent last time) Can't do it because she doesn't drive, she doesn't have to I guess living in NYC. take it easy she stood you up, it happens - it sucks you did everything you could you can do better next time even if her story is true - it means she flaked out right before the date - doesn't change the fact that she is not that interested if interested at all being at starbucks at 4 - what could be simpler then that? its time to ring the other girl from myspace Yeah, you're right, it makes no sense she didn't just stay in the starbucks at 4 and waited. I think I might have to move on, but its depressing. I still don't know why she did it though, we got along talking online, she agreed to meet, why would she stand me up? I mean she didn't even give me a chance to talk to her in person before rejecting me. What am I doing wrong? Though I understand your aversion to phones, I would of at least talked to her once on the phone before meeting her, if at least to confirm everything and get a better sense of who I was dealing with. You can tell alot more about a person by their tone of voice, etc. then you can by just words on a screen. So if there was something not right, you may of been able to pick that up by talking to her on the phone.
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Post by MrNice on Jan 26, 2006 12:53:48 GMT -5
because she wasn't really interested. period. I have been stood up twice date canceled numerous times it happens when the girl is not really interested
don't worry about it call the myspace girl ASAP
you wait too long to act the longer you wait the more depressing it is afterwards
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Post by pansy on Jan 26, 2006 13:36:59 GMT -5
don't be depressed. you were not avoidant yourself, that's the important thing. you should be proud of that. practice is practice, regardless of the outcome.
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