Misfit

[Mildman1]

Question for Shane. Who did you post to before setting up this site?

[ASolitarySoul]

spitzig said:

Not long ago, someone who used to be shy said that he learned that to get invited to group things, you have to invite yourself. After a couple of times doing this, people see that you want to go, and think of you the next time. I thought about this, and I still don't know how to do this without inviting myself when the others don't want me invited... So, it doesn't really help me to know this.

I can relate to this.

I’m not the pushy type, as I don’t like to impose upon others.

I’m uncomfortable around strangers - I usually just clam up
and just be polite, keeping my responses to one or two words
- I’m a great listener, and people who like to talk enjoy
my “company” (although they could probably get as much “company”
from a plastic inflatable doll).

Not only that, but I’m not really a “fun” person to be around
- I don’t have much in common with other people - I don’t go
out to see any movies, I don’t follow the Hollywood or the music
scene much, I don’t like to play computer games, I don’t play golf
- all of that I find particularly boring, and I guess that’s because
I’m a boring person - I’m as dull as dirt, and noone likes to be around
someone who is like that.

It’s really no small wonder that I've never had a Significant Other
- you have to be FRIENDS with a girl before you can have a GIRLfriend.


Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
Why was I not made of stone, like thee?
- Quasimodo

[ASolitarySoul]

Mildman1 said:

Question for Shane. Who did you post to before setting up this site?

Do you know about alt.support.shyness over on Usenet?

It's an on-line lunatic asylum (it’s unmoderated, so anyone
can say anything, and they usually do),
but I've always found it interesting.

That's where I hang out most of the time.
(I guess that says a lot about me, doesn't it? - heh).


Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
Why was I not made of stone, like thee?
- Quasimodo

[ASolitarySoul]

Guest-glenn said:

i think it is just who i am. hard to explain.

You really don't need to - I understand.

Do you think you can change who you are?


Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
Why was I not made of stone, like thee?
- Quasimodo

[spitzig]

ASolitarySoul said:

Not only that, but I’m not really a “fun” person to be around
- I don’t have much in common with other people - I don’t go
out to see any movies, I don’t follow the Hollywood or the music
scene much, I don’t like to play computer games, I don’t play golf
- all of that I find particularly boring, and I guess that’s because
I’m a boring person - I’m as dull as dirt, and noone likes to be around
someone who is like that.

If you think that you're boring because you don't have any common interests with anyone, why not find some more stuff you're interested in? I mean, it's a big world--I'm sure you haven't come across everything you would be interested in.

[Twice-Shy]

Mildman, I never posted anywhere. I looked around the net and I thought a site like SHY United would go down well and it has. A lot of the other sites I checked out seemed to be pretty dark and depressing. I wanted this site to be positive.

[Mildman1]

ASolitarySoul said:

Do you know about alt.support.shyness over on Usenet?

It's an on-line lunatic asylum (it’s unmoderated, so anyone
can say anything, and they usually do),
but I've always found it interesting.

That's where I hang out most of the time.
(I guess that says a lot about me, doesn't it? - heh).


Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
Why was I not made of stone, like thee?
- Quasimodo

Have looked at that site. Sometimes interesting.

[Mildman1]

spitzig said:

Not long ago, someone who used to be shy said that he learned that to get invited to group things, you have to invite yourself. After a couple of times doing this, people see that you want to go, and think of you the next time. I thought about this, and I still don't know how to do this without inviting myself when the others don't want me invited... So, it doesn't really help me to know this.

Don't we invite ourselves when we post to this site?

[moogle]

Mildman1 said:

Don't we invite ourselves when we post to this site?

yes! and that's exactly why i have so much trouble posting on most forums. i always feel like i'm not wanted.

[spitzig]

Mildman1 said:

Don't we invite ourselves when we post to this site?

I don't have a problem posting, because it seems to me that people post here TO GET responses. So, they are inviting me.

[moogle]

spitzig said:

I don't have a problem posting, because it seems to me that people post here TO GET responses. So, they are inviting me.

but when no one ever responds to YOUR posts (ok, i mean mine here) it can get...irksome

(i'm not talking about this site)

[theshell]

Out of interest..... Are you taking any medications? Medications help me. You sound very negative by the way and run yourself down too much calling yourself odd ball etc etc. If your so mean to yourself and don't like yourself how can you expect others to like you?

[ASolitarySoul]

spitzig said:

If you think that you're boring because you don't have any common interests with anyone, why not find some more stuff you're interested in? I mean, it's a big world--I'm sure you haven't come across everything you would be interested in.

IOW: Broaden my horizons?

I don’t know what that would be. I’m worthless at sports and games
of skill - I’m too much of a clumsy oaf. I’m no good at mental
games like chess - I’m too much of an idiot. <:-(

The only things that “fit” me are hunting and the shooting sports
(I live out in rural Texas, 50 miles to the northwest of Houston).
On top of that, I’m unemployed at the present (I quit the cattle
business last October and am looking at my options).

As far as THAT goes, developing an interest is easier said than done.
It’s a mater of personal taste and preference. But if I don’t,
then that will inhibit my professional career, whatever that might be.
A LOT of business deals are closed on a golf course.

Of course, if I could get into Information Technology, then
I could just crawl into a hole in the wall somewhere and
not have to worry so much about personal contact. I attended
the University of Houston, graduating with a degree in
Computer Science, but that was several years ago - my skills
are not up-to-date. With the employment situation in IT being
as it is, I would think that IT is not a realistic possibility
for me. :-(

[ASolitarySoul]

spitzig said:

I don't have a problem posting, because it seems to me that people post here TO GET responses. So, they are inviting me.

In here, you are on a level playing field - everyone has
the same problem with shyness (though the specific nature
of the shyness may be different for each of us). We can
relate to each other, and THAT makes it less intimidating.

Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
Why was I not made of stone, like thee?
- Quasimodo

[ASolitarySoul]

moogle said:

but when no one ever responds to YOUR posts (ok, i mean mine here) it can get...irksome


(i'm not talking about this site)

It’s like you’re being minimalized, like you are not worth the
time and effort of a response, like what you have to say has
no value worth acknowledging, and THAT has a negative impact
on your already-crippled self-esteem.

BTW: I’m responding to your post because you are worth the
time and effort. ;-)


Solitary Soul -> users3.ev1.net/~solitarysoul/
-----------------------------------------------------
Why was I not made of stone, like thee?
- Quasimodo