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Post by Bodhi on May 17, 2008 0:35:06 GMT -5
I'll go against the trend here and say, forget about her. Its not a very good situation, and its unlikely anything will come of it now. This whole email thing seems kind of desperate and I don't think it has much a chance of working. Don't worry, you will get over her in time. I've had similar crushes on girls in the past and i don't even think about them anymore. My suggestion is to start trying to gain confidence in your general social skills, and help prepare yourself for the future. There will be lots of other girls, believe me. If you work on being more social and confident now, maybe you'll be able to initiate things with girls in the future more quickly. Next time you are in a new situation and meet a girl, think right away about asking her out. Don't let it linger for months and then try to do it the last day you will ever see her. You can do it, just start clean now and think about how you can do things better in the future. Good luck!
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Post by MrNice on May 17, 2008 7:17:28 GMT -5
bodhi, if a girl from your class emailed you and suggested hanging out, would you think she was weird and desperate?
I know I would be flattered, whether I liked her or not
the email thing has a 100% chance of working -
its job is to make contact with this girl and seeing what happens
if your goal is to make her fall madly in love - then no - doesn't have a chance of working
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and b4y - its going to be more difficult next time - because you are going to think that the next girl is even more special and that you cannot afford to fail meter will be even higher
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Post by ball4yourout on May 18, 2008 12:56:40 GMT -5
I've made my decision. I'm going to send that E-mail. And when I do, I'm not gonna look back - until she responds, that is.
I've been doing some thinking lately, along with receiving some worldly messages and I realized I need to do this if I want any hope of change in my life.
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etn
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Post by etn on May 18, 2008 17:40:15 GMT -5
I've made my decision. I'm going to send that E-mail. And when I do, I'm not gonna look back - until she responds, that is. I've been doing some thinking lately, along with receiving some worldly messages and I realized I need to do this if I want any hope of change in my life. There! Now that's the spirit! |
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Post by ball4yourout on May 18, 2008 19:40:48 GMT -5
I'm not kidding either. After I'm done with exams and this paper, I am going to send that E-mail and we'll see what happens. I really, really hope it turns out to be a benefit. But even if it doesn't I want to do it.
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Post by Sweet Pea on May 18, 2008 21:27:55 GMT -5
I'm not kidding either. After I'm done with exams and this paper, I am going to send that E-mail and we'll see what happens. I really, really hope it turns out to be a benefit. But even if it doesn't I want to do it. oh, now it's after exams and paper huh?  |
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Post by MrNice on May 18, 2008 22:13:14 GMT -5
sigh
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Post by ball4yourout on May 18, 2008 22:47:26 GMT -5
What's biting you now, MrNice?
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Post by pnoopiepnats on May 18, 2008 23:14:29 GMT -5
I suggest you not wait too long to do it. The sooner you do it the better as she will remember who you are. If you wait weeks and months, that's not good.
Think of it like applying for a job. You're on careerbuilder and you see a job you like so you click on it and send your resume just like that and then you forget about it.
Just send the friendly email with no expectations and that'll be good.
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Post by ball4yourout on May 19, 2008 9:26:25 GMT -5
You're right. I'm writing that E-mail today.
Any suggestions on how to start it? I've never done this before.
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Post by Sweet Pea on May 19, 2008 9:32:50 GMT -5
You're right. I'm writing that E-mail today. Any suggestions on how to start it? I've never done this before. if i was to write one i'd prolly say something like: hey, ___________. just thought i'd write and say hi. what a relief to have the semester over, huh? what are you up to this summer? working? i'm working at _________________. it sucks but it's okay money. take it easy, ____________________ |
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gaia
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Post by gaia on May 19, 2008 14:55:54 GMT -5
You're right. I'm writing that E-mail today. Any suggestions on how to start it? I've never done this before. As 'N/A' said, the sooner you send it the better! Just imagine you're getting in touch with a guy friend. Keep it casual. Of course you're hoping for something romantic to come of this - but for now, stay clear of hinting towards that. You might scare her, and also pressure her. Give her a chance to get to know you better casually first, so that when (not if - when ) you get around to asking her out romantically, she's got a better idea of who you are and so is less likely to say no. |
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Post by Bodhi on May 19, 2008 15:15:23 GMT -5
You're right. I'm writing that E-mail today. Any suggestions on how to start it? I've never done this before. As 'N/A' said, the sooner you send it the better! Just imagine you're getting in touch with a guy friend. Keep it casual. Of course you're hoping for something romantic to come of this - but for now, stay clear of hinting towards that. You might scare her, and also pressure her. Give her a chance to get to know you better casually first, so that when (not if - when ) you get around to asking her out romantically, she's got a better idea of who you are and so is less likely to say no. I'd agree, if you are going to send the email, make it just friends only! I know you want more, but at first stick to friends and casual, and then slowly work your way up to more. She'll be more likely to respond to a nice, casual email just asking what she is up to, then asking her out or such right away. |
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gaia
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Post by gaia on May 19, 2008 15:27:45 GMT -5
...She'll be more likely to respond to a nice, casual email just asking what she is up to, then asking her out or such right away. Absolutely right. Girls are more likely to say no if you go and ask them out straight away. It's easier for girls to say no (or something less polite  ) because there's no knowledge of who the guy really is, and so there's no idea of what a potentially lovely character she's turning down. There's also no reason to care how badly the guy reacts. It's for this very reason that men who try to pick women up in bars, without really 'getting to know them' first, are frequently rejected. If she doesn't know you properly, the easy thing for her to do is to 'show you the door'. So yeah, give her a chance to see who you are first - before putting her asking her to make a big decision on whether or not she'd like to go out with you. |
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Post by MrNice on May 19, 2008 15:49:50 GMT -5
absolutely wrong
all that is going to happen is the typical 'lets just be friends' scenario where a guy pretends to be friends with a girl he has a serious crush on
its better to let your true intentions be known right away - and be rejected then let it drag out over a long period of time feeling miserable and then getting rejected
you have known this girl for a whole semester - she already knows whether she would like to hang out with you
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) because there's no knowledge of who the guy really is, and so there's no idea of what a potentially lovely character she's turning down. There's also no reason to care how badly the guy reacts.