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Post by Naptaq on Oct 19, 2008 12:33:29 GMT -5
ha! you're a total gamer geek aren't you? ;D Yeah I got my game-obsession periods. ;D But then I get bored. The real world has a lot higher resolution, more colors, and has no save button, so it's more challenging and can be a lot more rewarding. Besides you don't need to change your graphics card every 3 years unless you have glasses lol  |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Oct 19, 2008 12:36:14 GMT -5
This is a very difficult situation, but since you feel you only want to be friends with him and he's mentioned that he both expects and think that it's going to evolve into a relationship somewhere in the future, he clearly hasn't fully understood YOUR intentions so far. Yes, he might be involved in humanitarian work and is a very spiritual person, but it seems to me like he repeats himself over and over again about the relationship thing and strongly believes that it will happen sometime but that you haven't understood it yet. All in all, I think he wants to get laid. I've heard one trillion stories from guys I've talked to about tricking girls into having sex with them, and it involves acting as Mr. Nice and innocent guy. If he says he accepts the fact that you only want to have a friendship with him, then take a break and stop hanging out for quite some time. See how he reacts then. If he still is patient and has that same warm tone as he had previously, then there might be some truth behind it, but all in all, I think ending the friendship or at least stop seeing each other is the best thing to do. I am going to stop contacting him, although I wish we could stay friends. You think he's trying to trick me into having sex with him? I find it really hard to believe he would do that. He seems to value compassion and integrity so highly - trying to trick me into having sex would just be despicable. Plus we've been hanging out for over 2 1/2 months and nothing sexual has come close to happening - if he was just looking for sex, wouldn't he get frustrated and move on to someone more promising? How common is it for guys to try to trick girls into having sex? I'd like to think that there are guys out there that have some decency. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 19, 2008 12:56:57 GMT -5
This is a very difficult situation, but since you feel you only want to be friends with him and he's mentioned that he both expects and think that it's going to evolve into a relationship somewhere in the future, he clearly hasn't fully understood YOUR intentions so far. Yes, he might be involved in humanitarian work and is a very spiritual person, but it seems to me like he repeats himself over and over again about the relationship thing and strongly believes that it will happen sometime but that you haven't understood it yet. All in all, I think he wants to get laid. I've heard one trillion stories from guys I've talked to about tricking girls into having sex with them, and it involves acting as Mr. Nice and innocent guy. If he says he accepts the fact that you only want to have a friendship with him, then take a break and stop hanging out for quite some time. See how he reacts then. If he still is patient and has that same warm tone as he had previously, then there might be some truth behind it, but all in all, I think ending the friendship or at least stop seeing each other is the best thing to do. I am going to stop contacting him, although I wish we could stay friends. You think he's trying to trick me into having sex with him? I find it really hard to believe he would do that. He seems to value compassion and integrity so highly - trying to trick me into having sex would just be despicable. Plus we've been hanging out for over 2 1/2 months and nothing sexual has come close to happening - if he was just looking for sex, wouldn't he get frustrated and move on to someone more promising? How common is it for guys to try to trick girls into having sex? I'd like to think that there are guys out there that have some decency. in my experience it's extremely common. that's why everyone is telling you that might be what's going on. i wanted to point out to you that tricking you into having sex is despicable from your point of view, but he may not feel that he's trying to do a bad thing at all. he may feel that he's helping you to overcome your inhibitions and enjoy sex. he might think he's doing you a real big favor. it's all relative to the value system a person has whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. everyone isn't like this guy seems to be, just so you know. i know i'm perfectly okay with a guy i'm interested in having sex with telling me he's not interested. i can be friends with a guy i'm sexually attracted to without constantly hitting on him. it's not a problem for me. i don't have a desire for revenge if a guy turns me down, and neither do i have a problem being around him and treating him decently. for one thing, i believe i'm better off not getting what i thought i wanted in that scenario. experience has taught me that a guy who doesn't want to be with me isn't going to be a good lover, so i'd much rather he'd be straight with me about how he really feels. however, i wouldn't want someone to try to deceive me about what their goal really is. if they know they wouldn't be interested in a ltr with me, they shouldn't lead me to believe they are. if they really aren't committed to a relationship long-term with me, they shouldn't say they are. if they don't really share an appreciation of the things i like/believe, etc, they shouldn't say they do. if they aren't physically attracted to me, they shouldn't say they are. i don't have a problem with a guy having any feelings at all, whatever they are. i just want him to be straight with me. and i'll do the same for him. i think that's really all any of us can ask. we can't know from the first moment we lay eyes on someone whether or not the two of us have what it takes for make a good ltr. that takes time, getting to know each other well, and seeing how we feel within the relationship as it grows. but not deliberately deceiving another is something everyone can do. |
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Post by Naptaq on Oct 19, 2008 13:13:57 GMT -5
I really liked that Oprah link. When I first watched the Secret it made sense on an intellectual level and I wanted to believe in the law of attraction, but like always my doubts kicked in, and I began to believe it was baloney and wishful thinking. But I will tell you, ever since the beginning of this summer, I have had so many experiences of this type of thing it's not funny! I don't know what I believe, but I have come to feel like the universe is always responding to my thoughts and desires. The thing I really liked about the Oprah interview is that her desire was fulfilled when she believed it wasn't going to happen, when she let go. It is amazing how powerful genuinely letting go is! It's like all of a sudden you've removed some kind of resistance, and then the thing you've been desiring just snaps right to you! I find it very difficult if not impossible to consciously try to let go though. It seems like it's something that just happens. I think there is validity to the so called 'Law of attraction', but then again there are tens of million people everyday that are wanting to win the lotto, for example, and it doesn't happen. I think Oprah made a good point that there are many other laws, and the first that would come to my mind is karma. Otherwise how would one explain people like Hellen Keller and people with all kinds of illnesses that don't go away. But hey what do I know. Somebody recently said to me "Hey life isn't supposed to be fair." So I think humanitarian work, or volunteering is very useful because it moves you towards selflessness and you accumulate good karma. Or as some Christians would say, "You get to go to heaven". Thoughts seem to be a reocurring theme and every intellectual genius, saint or mystic seems to have quote about it. Just to illustrate: ;D If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. ~ Henry Ford You can change your life by altering your thoughts ~ Eric Butterworth If you don't ask, you don't get. ~ Mahatma Gandhi |
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Post by rukryM on Oct 19, 2008 13:16:30 GMT -5
This is a very difficult situation, but since you feel you only want to be friends with him and he's mentioned that he both expects and think that it's going to evolve into a relationship somewhere in the future, he clearly hasn't fully understood YOUR intentions so far. Yes, he might be involved in humanitarian work and is a very spiritual person, but it seems to me like he repeats himself over and over again about the relationship thing and strongly believes that it will happen sometime but that you haven't understood it yet. All in all, I think he wants to get laid. I've heard one trillion stories from guys I've talked to about tricking girls into having sex with them, and it involves acting as Mr. Nice and innocent guy. If he says he accepts the fact that you only want to have a friendship with him, then take a break and stop hanging out for quite some time. See how he reacts then. If he still is patient and has that same warm tone as he had previously, then there might be some truth behind it, but all in all, I think ending the friendship or at least stop seeing each other is the best thing to do. I am going to stop contacting him, although I wish we could stay friends. You think he's trying to trick me into having sex with him? I find it really hard to believe he would do that. He seems to value compassion and integrity so highly - trying to trick me into having sex would just be despicable. Plus we've been hanging out for over 2 1/2 months and nothing sexual has come close to happening - if he was just looking for sex, wouldn't he get frustrated and move on to someone more promising? How common is it for guys to try to trick girls into having sex? I'd like to think that there are guys out there that have some decency. Yeah, maybe I presented the situation in a very negative way, but the fact that he believed that you really liked him and that he wanted your friendship to crystallize into a relationship in the end just shows that he has a different view on it than you. OK, maybe he is after all a very decent guy, but I find it a bit hard to swallow that he doesn't consider getting laid in the end with you. Plus the thing he said about teasing, he mentioned it and then said that he wasn't teased by it, but that "some people are"...that's just him trying to hide himself behind a shell. That's how I see it, so far. However, you're the one who's actually seeing him and you know better than me how he is. Maybe he is a good guy who doesn't think dirty but rather wants to get in contact with you. I don't know. I just get the intention that there's something not so innocent behind it all, despite the fact that he does charity work and is a very spiritual person. You mentioned earlier in this thread that when he went out of town you felt "freer" and didn't have that pressure on you. Because he then didn't call you or wanted to hang out with you. I know I'd called a girl and wanted to hang out with her practically every day if I were interested in her. He revealed that he was interested in more than just a friendship. And he obviously tries everything to get you more interested in him as a boyfriend. Perhaps is primary motive isn't sex, but in the end it is, as Sweet Pea said, there are no guys who are interested in a relationship where sex is absent. Period. Now, I don't think you should completely push him away if you like being a friend him, but make it ABSOLUTELY clear that it's not going anywhere else but a friendship. And that you need your space and time alone, that you're uncomfortable hanging out with him every day {if that's so now, at least you said it was like that in the beginning, don't know if you've changed over the 2,5 months}. Plus the break. If he accepts those demands and more important start adjusting to that style, you might want to be friends with him, since you say you share some very deep and spiritual sessions together. As for the thing about guys tricking girls into having sex with them, it happens a lot, but it of course depends on the guy and the environment. Since I'm reserved and introverted, I don't take part in those matters, neither do I want to. I've just heard stories; in high school, in the military {when I served there} and now in the university where I talk to different people about different stuff. Sadly, a lot of guys act as "nice" and "warm", and that what's concerning me a bit when talking of this guy. However, since he's so busy with that humanitarian thing, then maybe he's not "one of those"; but say you two got into a relationship together, then he'd clearly make a lot of attempts to get with you. In the end, though, you're the one who knows best how he is, as mentioned above. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 19, 2008 13:33:17 GMT -5
I really liked that Oprah link. When I first watched the Secret it made sense on an intellectual level and I wanted to believe in the law of attraction, but like always my doubts kicked in, and I began to believe it was baloney and wishful thinking. But I will tell you, ever since the beginning of this summer, I have had so many experiences of this type of thing it's not funny! I don't know what I believe, but I have come to feel like the universe is always responding to my thoughts and desires. The thing I really liked about the Oprah interview is that her desire was fulfilled when she believed it wasn't going to happen, when she let go. It is amazing how powerful genuinely letting go is! It's like all of a sudden you've removed some kind of resistance, and then the thing you've been desiring just snaps right to you! I find it very difficult if not impossible to consciously try to let go though. It seems like it's something that just happens. I think there is validity to the so called 'Law of attraction', but then again there are tens of million people everyday that are wanting to win the lotto, for example, and it doesn't happen. I think Oprah made a good point that there are many other laws, and the first that would come to my mind is karma. Otherwise how would one explain people like Hellen Keller and people with all kinds of illnesses that don't go away. But hey what do I know. Somebody recently said to me "Hey life isn't supposed to be fair." So I think humanitarian work, or volunteering is very useful because it moves you towards selflessness and you accumulate good karma. Or as some Christians would say, "You get to go to heaven". Thoughts seem to be a reocurring theme and every intellectual genius, saint or mystic seems to have quote about it. Just to illustrate: ;D If you think you can do a thing or think you can't do a thing, you're right. ~ Henry Ford You can change your life by altering your thoughts ~ Eric Butterworth If you don't ask, you don't get. ~ Mahatma Gandhi i believe you have to be open to something to acknowledge it or accept it into your life. but i don't believe you can 'make things happen' by wishing for them. i also don't believe in karma. it's a nice idea to 'explain' everything, until you know a perfect bastard who mistreats other people his whole life and still gets everything his way...and i have. belief in karma also hurts many people because others believe they did something in a past life to deserve their problems, like the disabled for example. and it often boils down to a convenient excuse not to help those less fortunate. |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Oct 19, 2008 14:13:21 GMT -5
I am going to stop contacting him, although I wish we could stay friends. You think he's trying to trick me into having sex with him? I find it really hard to believe he would do that. He seems to value compassion and integrity so highly - trying to trick me into having sex would just be despicable. Plus we've been hanging out for over 2 1/2 months and nothing sexual has come close to happening - if he was just looking for sex, wouldn't he get frustrated and move on to someone more promising? How common is it for guys to try to trick girls into having sex? I'd like to think that there are guys out there that have some decency. in my experience it's extremely common. that's why everyone is telling you that might be what's going on. i wanted to point out to you that tricking you into having sex is despicable from your point of view, but he may not feel that he's trying to do a bad thing at all. he may feel that he's helping you to overcome your inhibitions and enjoy sex. he might think he's doing you a real big favor. it's all relative to the value system a person has whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. everyone isn't like this guy seems to be, just so you know. i know i'm perfectly okay with a guy i'm interested in having sex with telling me he's not interested. i can be friends with a guy i'm sexually attracted to without constantly hitting on him. it's not a problem for me. i don't have a desire for revenge if a guy turns me down, and neither do i have a problem being around him and treating him decently. for one thing, i believe i'm better off not getting what i thought i wanted in that scenario. experience has taught me that a guy who doesn't want to be with me isn't going to be a good lover, so i'd much rather he'd be straight with me about how he really feels.
however, i wouldn't want someone to try to deceive me about what their goal really is. if they know they wouldn't be interested in a ltr with me, they shouldn't lead me to believe they are. if they really aren't committed to a relationship long-term with me, they shouldn't say they are. if they don't really share an appreciation of the things i like/believe, etc, they shouldn't say they do. if they aren't physically attracted to me, they shouldn't say they are. i don't have a problem with a guy having any feelings at all, whatever they are. i just want him to be straight with me. and i'll do the same for him. i think that's really all any of us can ask. we can't know from the first moment we lay eyes on someone whether or not the two of us have what it takes for make a good ltr. that takes time, getting to know each other well, and seeing how we feel within the relationship as it grows. but not deliberately deceiving another is something everyone can do. But that's why I said it is despicable if he is trying to trick me into having sex - because he would be deceiving me about what his goal really is. I understand that all guys want sex - that's not something I have a problem with. However this guy has told me that he "does not have an agenda for the first time since grammar school," that he is happy to get to just know me for as long as I want, and that for him a spiritual genuine connection is much more important than sex. He even went so far as to say that he broke up with his ex - girlfriend because "the sex was almost too good" - the relationship got too lustful because they didn't get to know each other well enough before having sex, and the focus was taken away from spirituality. If he is consciously trying to trick me into having sex, all this was a lie. Maybe unconsciously his main motive is only to get me to have sex, and I could understand that. But if he is consciously lying to me I think that is despicable. |
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Post by Naptaq on Oct 19, 2008 14:26:18 GMT -5
it's a nice idea to 'explain' everything, until you know a perfect bastard who mistreats other people his whole life and still gets everything his way...and i have. Well I've been raised Catholic and there you got Hell, Purgatory and Heaven. So that, to me, it is no different than Karma, because your choises and actions in this life determine where you will be in the next. But if there's nothing after this life, then you are indeed right, and I'll try to live an honest life for nothing. What joy. ;D Well I wouldn't think that hating the less fortunate is something one could get to heaven in, if you know what I mean. Dalai Lama tends to speak a lot about compassion, which, I think, is the way to go about it. From a Hindu perspective, it's bad Karma to not help those less thos fortunate, if you are able to do so lol ;D Helping others is also a theme in Christianity. It's all the same. I think Gandhi was right and that all Religions are different paths to the same goal. .. ok, maybe not Wahhabism. They're shotting for the opposite direction. |
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Post by deadendphilosopher on Oct 19, 2008 14:29:50 GMT -5
I am going to stop contacting him, although I wish we could stay friends. You think he's trying to trick me into having sex with him? I find it really hard to believe he would do that. He seems to value compassion and integrity so highly - trying to trick me into having sex would just be despicable. Plus we've been hanging out for over 2 1/2 months and nothing sexual has come close to happening - if he was just looking for sex, wouldn't he get frustrated and move on to someone more promising? How common is it for guys to try to trick girls into having sex? I'd like to think that there are guys out there that have some decency. Yeah, maybe I presented the situation in a very negative way, but the fact that he believed that you really liked him and that he wanted your friendship to crystallize into a relationship in the end just shows that he has a different view on it than you. OK, maybe he is after all a very decent guy, but I find it a bit hard to swallow that he doesn't consider getting laid in the end with you. Plus the thing he said about teasing, he mentioned it and then said that he wasn't teased by it, but that "some people are"...that's just him trying to hide himself behind a shell. That's how I see it, so far. However, you're the one who's actually seeing him and you know better than me how he is. Maybe he is a good guy who doesn't think dirty but rather wants to get in contact with you. I don't know. I just get the intention that there's something not so innocent behind it all, despite the fact that he does charity work and is a very spiritual person. You mentioned earlier in this thread that when he went out of town you felt "freer" and didn't have that pressure on you. Because he then didn't call you or wanted to hang out with you. I know I'd called a girl and wanted to hang out with her practically every day if I were interested in her. He revealed that he was interested in more than just a friendship. And he obviously tries everything to get you more interested in him as a boyfriend. Perhaps is primary motive isn't sex, but in the end it is, as Sweet Pea said, there are no guys who are interested in a relationship where sex is absent. Period. Now, I don't think you should completely push him away if you like being a friend him, but make it ABSOLUTELY clear that it's not going anywhere else but a friendship. And that you need your space and time alone, that you're uncomfortable hanging out with him every day {if that's so now, at least you said it was like that in the beginning, don't know if you've changed over the 2,5 months}. Plus the break. If he accepts those demands and more important start adjusting to that style, you might want to be friends with him, since you say you share some very deep and spiritual sessions together. As for the thing about guys tricking girls into having sex with them, it happens a lot, but it of course depends on the guy and the environment. Since I'm reserved and introverted, I don't take part in those matters, neither do I want to. I've just heard stories; in high school, in the military {when I served there} and now in the university where I talk to different people about different stuff. Sadly, a lot of guys act as "nice" and "warm", and that what's concerning me a bit when talking of this guy. However, since he's so busy with that humanitarian thing, then maybe he's not "one of those"; but say you two got into a relationship together, then he'd clearly make a lot of attempts to get with you. In the end, though, you're the one who knows best how he is, as mentioned above. I agree with your first paragraph - I'm sure the desire to get laid is a big part of the appeal for him - I'd just like to think that it's not the only thing he's looking for. I think you're right about the teasing thing - I didn't mean to tease him, I won't do that again. We never hung out every day (at first he was calling me that much). I made a decision early on not to hang out with him more than once a week. I have tried to make it clear that it will never go anywhere past friendship, but I'm realizing that he will not ever fully believe that, so I'm going to end it. I've told my parents that he doesn't seems to understand that I will never be interested that way, and they keep telling me that that's from his side and is his responsibility, however it doesn't seem right for me to keep being friends with him when I know how he's viewing the friendship. |
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Post by Naptaq on Oct 19, 2008 14:39:41 GMT -5
He even went so far as to say that he broke up with his ex - girlfriend because "the sex was almost too good" - the relationship got too lustful because they didn't get to know each other well enough before having sex, and the focus was taken away from spirituality. If he really did then that's a 'bold movement'! Most people would not do that. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 19, 2008 14:40:27 GMT -5
it's a nice idea to 'explain' everything, until you know a perfect bastard who mistreats other people his whole life and still gets everything his way...and i have. Well I've been raised Catholic and there you got Hell, Purgatory and Heaven. So that, to me, it is no different than Karma, because your choises and actions in this life determine where you will be in the next. But if there's nothing after this life, then you are indeed right, and I'll try to live an honest life for nothing. What joy. ;D Well I wouldn't think that hating the less fortunate is something one could get to heaven in, if you know what I mean. Dalai Lama tends to speak a lot about compassion, which, I think, is the way to go about it. From a Hindu perspective, it's bad Karma to not help those less thos fortunate, if you are able to do so lol ;D Helping others is also a theme in Christianity. It's all the same. I think Gandhi was right and that all Religions are different paths to the same goal. .. ok, maybe not Wahhabism. They're shotting for the opposite direction. is an honest life only worth living if you're rewarded for it? or is living an honest life itself the reward? obviously there are people who believe in karma who also help the less fortunate. however, i'm saying i've often seen people use karma as an excuse not to. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 19, 2008 14:42:00 GMT -5
He even went so far as to say that he broke up with his ex - girlfriend because "the sex was almost too good" - the relationship got too lustful because they didn't get to know each other well enough before having sex, and the focus was taken away from spirituality. If he really did then that's a 'bold movement'! Most people would not do that. or he may just be succumbing to the temptation to put a good face on it. we don't know. we only have what he says to her to go on. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Oct 19, 2008 14:53:40 GMT -5
in my experience it's extremely common. that's why everyone is telling you that might be what's going on. i wanted to point out to you that tricking you into having sex is despicable from your point of view, but he may not feel that he's trying to do a bad thing at all. he may feel that he's helping you to overcome your inhibitions and enjoy sex. he might think he's doing you a real big favor. it's all relative to the value system a person has whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. everyone isn't like this guy seems to be, just so you know. i know i'm perfectly okay with a guy i'm interested in having sex with telling me he's not interested. i can be friends with a guy i'm sexually attracted to without constantly hitting on him. it's not a problem for me. i don't have a desire for revenge if a guy turns me down, and neither do i have a problem being around him and treating him decently. for one thing, i believe i'm better off not getting what i thought i wanted in that scenario. experience has taught me that a guy who doesn't want to be with me isn't going to be a good lover, so i'd much rather he'd be straight with me about how he really feels.
however, i wouldn't want someone to try to deceive me about what their goal really is. if they know they wouldn't be interested in a ltr with me, they shouldn't lead me to believe they are. if they really aren't committed to a relationship long-term with me, they shouldn't say they are. if they don't really share an appreciation of the things i like/believe, etc, they shouldn't say they do. if they aren't physically attracted to me, they shouldn't say they are. i don't have a problem with a guy having any feelings at all, whatever they are. i just want him to be straight with me. and i'll do the same for him. i think that's really all any of us can ask. we can't know from the first moment we lay eyes on someone whether or not the two of us have what it takes for make a good ltr. that takes time, getting to know each other well, and seeing how we feel within the relationship as it grows. but not deliberately deceiving another is something everyone can do. But that's why I said it is despicable if he is trying to trick me into having sex - because he would be deceiving me about what his goal really is. I understand that all guys want sex - that's not something I have a problem with. However this guy has told me that he "does not have an agenda for the first time since grammar school," that he is happy to get to just know me for as long as I want, and that for him a spiritual genuine connection is much more important than sex. He even went so far as to say that he broke up with his ex - girlfriend because "the sex was almost too good" - the relationship got too lustful because they didn't get to know each other well enough before having sex, and the focus was taken away from spirituality. If he is consciously trying to trick me into having sex, all this was a lie. Maybe unconsciously his main motive is only to get me to have sex, and I could understand that. But if he is consciously lying to me I think that is despicable. and you're certainly entitled to feel that way. i was just trying to explain to you that there are people out there who feel that helping a (relatively) uptight and inexperienced younger person is the 'higher good', and that they're doing you a big favor by creating a situation in which you can 'blossom' sexually, embrace your sexuality, 'come into your own' as a woman, etc etc. when people feel this way, they don't view what they do as lying or tricking you or whatever. they believe they are doing a good thing. that was my point. you seemed to be hung up on the question of how could he be this spiritual, evolved person and still be 'dishonest'. well, maybe he feels that's what you're really asking him to do. maybe from his perspective you're sending the message 'hey, i'm uncomfortable with my sexuality and i need you to help me past my discomfort in order to enjoy it'. in other words, he may feel he's just reflecting back to you what you're expressing. does that make more sense? |
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Post by Naptaq on Oct 19, 2008 15:23:11 GMT -5
or is living an honest life itself the reward? The anwser is in the question. Living an honest life and doing the best I can with myself and my talents would be a reward itself, Naptaq thinks. I didn't think of that way before. Well, I think these religious upbringings, if they're not radical, are benificial in most cases, because a criminal atheist would think that if he didn't get cought he got 'off the hook'. And I think you go where you belong. A criminal in Heaven would be a misfit. If nothing else, in Hell a criminal meets a lot of friends. "If I'm going to hell," Timothy McVeigh wrote, "I'm gonna have a lot of company." |
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Post by rukryM on Oct 19, 2008 16:36:44 GMT -5
I agree with your first paragraph - I'm sure the desire to get laid is a big part of the appeal for him - I'd just like to think that it's not the only thing he's looking for. I think you're right about the teasing thing - I didn't mean to tease him, I won't do that again. We never hung out every day (at first he was calling me that much). I made a decision early on not to hang out with him more than once a week. I have tried to make it clear that it will never go anywhere past friendship, but I'm realizing that he will not ever fully believe that, so I'm going to end it. I've told my parents that he doesn't seems to understand that I will never be interested that way, and they keep telling me that that's from his side and is his responsibility, however it doesn't seem right for me to keep being friends with him when I know how he's viewing the friendship. If he just doesn't seem to view it exactly like you do and is able to accept that it'll never change and there's nothing he can do about it, then just get away from the whole ting. The reason I tried to persuade you to at least give the friendship a chance by the possible help of a break was because of your good spiritual sessions. But I guess there are other guys out there, too^^. I hope you make your parents understand why you choose to end the friendship with him, though. I've stopped hanging out with various people without my parents understanding me, and the result is that they in the end nag me with all their questions and comments. |
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