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Post by wapwawet on Nov 15, 2008 10:26:32 GMT -5
Well, this is my first post, but its on a subject I've been thinking about lately. I think it is more important than most people think, or at least, say out loud. IMO, looks are equally as important for girls as they are guys.
Lately I've been struggling to find out if I am attractive or not, I've been told so a few times, prolly more than a few, but opinions from the same gender seem to say otherwise. So, I honestly don't know what to think. So, how do you go about finding that out without sounding ridiculously insecure? I'm sure I'm not the only one with this question.
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Post by MrNice on Nov 15, 2008 10:27:30 GMT -5
put yourself up on hotornot.com
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Post by wapwawet on Nov 16, 2008 1:10:37 GMT -5
Well I don't have any decent pics of me, they're all to blurry. But, I meant to say: how do I acurrately read the interactions of other women to know if they are drawn to me? (in *that* way).
I know they always say confidence is key, but really, if there is no initial physical attraction that confidence isn't going to matter IMO. You need both in order to succeed, from what I've seen.
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 16, 2008 2:07:19 GMT -5
Well I don't have any decent pics of me, they're all to blurry. But, I meant to say: how do I acurrately read the interactions of other women to know if they are drawn to me? (in *that* way). I know they always say confidence is key, but really, if there is no initial physical attraction that confidence isn't going to matter IMO. You need both in order to succeed, from what I've seen. all the so-called signs and signals of a woman's interest just boil down to one thing...is she giving you attention? if she is, she's interested. |
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Post by wapwawet on Nov 16, 2008 9:27:41 GMT -5
yea I get attention from them, sure. It can't be as simple as that, can it?  |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 16, 2008 9:32:18 GMT -5
They say that girls not are as superficial as guys; hence they look more for the personality than your looks. If you dress and behave appropriately and have a good charisma, it should make you attractive to girls. Please not that those are not my words, I've read and heard it elsewhere.
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Post by wapwawet on Nov 16, 2008 10:58:01 GMT -5
They say that girls not are as superficial as guys; hence they look more for the personality than your looks. If you dress and behave appropriately and have a good charisma, it should make you attractive to girls. Please not that those are not my words, I've read and heard it elsewhere. Sorry, but I don't believe that one iota. Looks have the same amount of importance for girls and guys. Yes you see some gorgeous girls with "ugly" guys, but I've also seen the stereotypical "hot" guy with not so attractive girls. But, in general, looks are quite important. Well, yeah, you have to dress and behave appropriately as well, but in general aesthetics are needed. As I've said, I've been told I'm good looking (in the past), but it is hard to gauge a ladies' impression of you, especially if you are shy and don't appear outgoing. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 16, 2008 14:14:34 GMT -5
They say that girls not are as superficial as guys; hence they look more for the personality than your looks. If you dress and behave appropriately and have a good charisma, it should make you attractive to girls. Please not that those are not my words, I've read and heard it elsewhere. Sorry, but I don't believe that one iota. Looks have the same amount of importance for girls and guys. Yes you see some gorgeous girls with "ugly" guys, but I've also seen the stereotypical "hot" guy with not so attractive girls. But, in general, looks are quite important. Well, yeah, you have to dress and behave appropriately as well, but in general aesthetics are needed. As I've said, I've been told I'm good looking (in the past), but it is hard to gauge a ladies' impression of you, especially if you are shy and don't appear outgoing. i understand. i have the same problem. i never know if a guy is just being nice to me or is interested in me in a purely sexual way or is interested in me in a more romantic way...until he flat out tells me what's on his mind. i can guess until the cows come home, but until he tells me i won't know for sure. so that makes the guys who lie about their intentions to get into your pants all the more annoying. |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 16, 2008 14:32:15 GMT -5
Sorry, but I don't believe that one iota. Looks have the same amount of importance for girls and guys. That's why I wanted you to note that they weren't my words. I too don't believe it ;D. As I've said, I've been told I'm good looking (in the past), but it is hard to gauge a ladies' impression of you, especially if you are shy and don't appear outgoing. That's why I was talking about charisma, and appearance. As far as I know, girls tend to look for that, too {AFTER they've decided if your looks make you attractive, or not}. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 16, 2008 14:36:00 GMT -5
Sorry, but I don't believe that one iota. Looks have the same amount of importance for girls and guys. That's why I wanted you to note that they weren't my words. I too don't believe it ;D. As I've said, I've been told I'm good looking (in the past), but it is hard to gauge a ladies' impression of you, especially if you are shy and don't appear outgoing. That's why I was talking about charisma, and appearance. As far as I know, girls tend to look for that, too {AFTER they've decided if your looks make you attractive, or not}. i like good looking men. nothing wrong with that. i think most women do. but what one woman considers attractive another woman may not. |
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Post by rukryM on Nov 16, 2008 14:53:55 GMT -5
True, and the same goes for guys, one's taste in girls differs from another one's.
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Post by MrNice on Nov 16, 2008 16:13:56 GMT -5
personally i look at it as three categories -
no way, ok nothing special, he is so cute/good looking
most of the time you fall in the middle category and your personality is what matters. but even if you are in the third category, your personality is what will carry the day
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Post by wapwawet on Nov 17, 2008 1:07:20 GMT -5
personally i look at it as three categories - no way, ok nothing special, he is so cute/good looking most of the time you fall in the middle category and your personality is what matters. but even if you are in the third category, your personality is what will carry the day I agree you do need some sort of personality to supplement the looks. Thing with SA is...despite other compliments, you don't really take them seriously, ya know? I put my picture up on some site, and I was called "very cute" or "sexy" by most. I would say that is somewhat above average  But when it comes to interactin with them in RL, damn...I suck lol. And then there were the negative comments made by my (male) acquaintences. One was like "you're sooo ugly" just out of nowhere, but he admits he is crappy with women, so...it's hard to determine what is jealousy, or whatever. But then there are the more secure ones that'll sort of compliment me. Obviously I'm much more concerned with women's opinions, but you can't just go up to them and ask them that! I think I have trouble reading nonverbal cues, b/c of the anxiety. |
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Post by airburst on Nov 17, 2008 1:12:16 GMT -5
So, how do you go about finding that out without sounding ridiculously insecure? Do girls flirt with you? Have you ever asked a girl out? |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Nov 17, 2008 1:15:44 GMT -5
personally i look at it as three categories - no way, ok nothing special, he is so cute/good looking most of the time you fall in the middle category and your personality is what matters. but even if you are in the third category, your personality is what will carry the day I agree you do need some sort of personality to supplement the looks. Thing with SA is...despite other compliments, you don't really take them seriously, ya know? I put my picture up on some site, and I was called "very cute" or "sexy" by most. I would say that is somewhat above average But when it comes to interactin with them in RL, damn...I suck lol. And then there were the negative comments made by my (male) acquaintences. One was like "you're sooo ugly" just out of nowhere, but he admits he is crappy with women, so...it's hard to determine what is jealousy, or whatever. But then there are the more secure ones that'll sort of compliment me. Obviously I'm much more concerned with women's opinions, but you can't just go up to them and ask them that! I think I have trouble reading nonverbal cues, b/c of the anxiety. yeah, when you're under the gun, anxiety makes you focus on the wrong things. |
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