Girl

[Sweet Pea]

Dec 28, 2008 2:47:58 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

Dec 28, 2008 2:12:56 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

they're not married. the rules of our society are that anyone is fair game if they're not married. it's up to her to tell him if he's unavailable. also, why are you so sure they're a 'happy couple'?

Then what is the point of having a steady boyfriend or girlfriend status?

the theory is that you're taking ever increasingly closer steps to a permanent lifetime commitment. but you still haven't made a permanent lifetime commitment yet. and as long as you haven't, that means you're keeping your options open, doesn't it?

[pnoopiepnats]

Dec 28, 2008 3:41:58 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

the theory is that you're taking ever increasingly closer steps to a permanent lifetime commitment. but you still haven't made a permanent lifetime commitment yet. and as long as you haven't, that means you're keeping your options open, doesn't it?

so you are either single or you are married then there are no cheaters unless they are married.

So say you are dating someone for a year and they start seeing someone else as well as you then that is ok with you.

If it is socially acceptable then the OP can ask the guy if it's ok to go out with his girlfriend

[solacefox]

It seems like marriage doesn't necessarily mean a monogamous bond to some people. There are examples abound of married individuals who have demonstrated less commitment than those who chose not to make their relationship "legal". It goes to show that marriage is just a piece of paper to some, while others choose to be commited without that same paper. Official marriage seems to have been going the way of the dodo partly because of this.

[madiocre]

maybe you need to think about it this way .
You will hurt the guy she is with now and quite possibly her if you "try to break them apart" its kinda manipulitive and selfish to go onto such a course of action .i mean yeah i can see how it would be tempting because you want that girl but really all you do is tell her how you feel...that is the honest way rather then breaking what she already has to see if she might like you . look at all the perspectives

1) if you were her current bf and you had a guy break you up from her .
2) if you were her and you found out / worked out that this guy purposely broke you away from that bf you had
3)you break them up and doesnt want you

there are so many ways that it would all go wrong for you besides the point that its the wrong thing to do .

[rukryM]

If you dismiss all moral aspects of this case and just ignore the fact that she's got a boyfriend {which she at the moment most likely is satisfied with} then it's not a nice thing to do. Not evil, but it's wrong.

And since you obviously don't care about that it seems to me like all you want to do is getting sloshed and shag her^^.

[wapwawet]

Dec 28, 2008 7:10:16 GMT -5 madiocre said:

maybe you need to think about it this way .
You will hurt the guy she is with now and quite possibly her if you "try to break them apart" its kinda manipulitive and selfish to go onto such a course of action .i mean yeah i can see how it would be tempting because you want that girl but really all you do is tell her how you feel...that is the honest way rather then breaking what she already has to see if she might like you . look at all the perspectives

1) if you were her current bf and you had a guy break you up from her .
2) if you were her and you found out / worked out that this guy purposely broke you away from that bf you had
3)you break them up and doesnt want you

there are so many ways that it would all go wrong for you besides the point that its the wrong thing to do .

I didn't mean "break them up" in the direct sense, I meant acting in an outgoing way, and if she is interested, then she can make a choice, or not. But since everyone is in a consensus about this, I'll stop posting about this here.

[pnoopiepnats]

Dec 28, 2008 7:03:32 GMT -5 @solacefox said:

We must remember that marriage doesn't necessarily mean a monogamous bond. There are examples abound of married individuals who have demonstrated less commitment than those who chose not to make their relationship "legal". It goes to show that marriage is just a piece of paper to some, while others choose to be commited without that same paper. Official marriage is (and has been) going the way of the dodo partly because of this.

I know it is old fashioned but I still believe in marriage and what it means.

I imagine for those who have never seen a happy marriage or one without cheating etc. it is hard to fathom one that works well. My parents were married for 48 years. They took their vows seriously.

I think most marriages fail because people don't understand the principles and purpose of a successful marriage.

[wapwawet]

Dec 28, 2008 4:11:00 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

Dec 28, 2008 3:41:58 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

the theory is that you're taking ever increasingly closer steps to a permanent lifetime commitment. but you still haven't made a permanent lifetime commitment yet. and as long as you haven't, that means you're keeping your options open, doesn't it?

so you are either single or you are married then there are no cheaters unless they are married.

So say you are dating someone for a year and they start seeing someone else as well as you then that is ok with you.

If it is socially acceptable then the OP can ask the guy if it's ok to go out with his girlfriend

I think you missed the point, I didn't mean date her whilst she was with the bf, but just be outgoing enough to where it might rekindle her interest (if there ever was...). Then if she was interested, she would have to break up with him first.

[Richard Cunningham]

Dec 28, 2008 8:27:00 GMT -5 @wapwawet said:

Dec 28, 2008 4:11:00 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

so you are either single or you are married then there are no cheaters unless they are married.

So say you are dating someone for a year and they start seeing someone else as well as you then that is ok with you.

If it is socially acceptable then the OP can ask the guy if it's ok to go out with his girlfriend

I think you missed the point, I didn't mean date her whilst she was with the bf, but just be outgoing enough to where it might rekindle her interest (if there ever was...). Then if she was interested, she would have to break up with him first.

But she wouldn't break up with him unless she was already dissatisfied with her current relationship.

What outgoing stuff would you do in front of her?
Does she like outgoing guys?

[wapwawet]

Dec 28, 2008 3:26:05 GMT -5 Farouche said:

Wapawet -----------------
Trying to figure out how to make her dump him fer me. Others have attempted it before, I'm sure.

Um, kay? Letting a girl who's in a relationship know that you like her or would like to get with her is one thing, though not necessarily in keeping with my personal moral code. Trying to "figure out how to make her dump him for me" just reeks, in my opinion. Maybe it's just semantics, but I feel like there's a difference between someone who makes his intentions clear in case the other person is interested, and someone who plans on intentionally trying to bust up a relationship.

I get the impression, though, that any potential ethical messiness doesn't bother you in the least, does it? Meh, what goes around comes around.

That post you quoted was a sloppy version of what I was ttrying to say, my last post should help clarify what I meant.

[pnoopiepnats]

Dec 28, 2008 8:31:43 GMT -5 Richard Cunningham said:

Dec 28, 2008 8:27:00 GMT -5 @wapwawet said:

I think you missed the point, I didn't mean date her whilst she was with the bf, but just be outgoing enough to where it might rekindle her interest (if there ever was...). Then if she was interested, she would have to break up with him first.

But she wouldn't break up with him unless she was already dissatisfied with her current relationship.

What outgoing stuff would you do in front of her?
Does she like outgoing guys?

He should just tell her he wants to bang her.

[wapwawet]

Dec 28, 2008 8:31:43 GMT -5 Richard Cunningham said:

Dec 28, 2008 8:27:00 GMT -5 @wapwawet said:

I think you missed the point, I didn't mean date her whilst she was with the bf, but just be outgoing enough to where it might rekindle her interest (if there ever was...). Then if she was interested, she would have to break up with him first.

But she wouldn't break up with him unless she was already dissatisfied with her current relationship.

What outgoing stuff would you do in front of her?
Does she like outgoing guys?

Sometimes dissatisfaction in a relationship springs from being interested in someone else. She said she was a while ago/and acted like it, but as I said I didn't pursue her but I have the capacity to act differently now.

Also, there is nothing wrong with acting outgoing and letting the person know you are interested in them in a subtle manner.

[wapwawet]

Dec 28, 2008 8:36:40 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

Dec 28, 2008 8:31:43 GMT -5 Richard Cunningham said:

But she wouldn't break up with him unless she was already dissatisfied with her current relationship.

What outgoing stuff would you do in front of her?
Does she like outgoing guys?

He should just tell her he wants to bang her.

So I take it you hate me now? Whatever...

And no, I don't just want to bang her. I want a relationship.

[pnoopiepnats]

or try this

[wapwawet]

Someone's hostile