Girl

[pnoopiepnats]

If you come to mye bangalow u weill be banged.

[wapwawet]

Dec 28, 2008 8:47:03 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

If you come to mye bangalow u weill be banged.

what do you mean by "banged?"

[pnoopiepnats]

I come to ye bangalow now. Please wash and comb arse hares.

ok bye 4ever.

[airburst]

Dec 28, 2008 8:47:03 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

If you come to mye bangalow u weill be banged.

Is that a promise?

[nelo]

I'm lost here...

[Sweet Pea]

Dec 28, 2008 4:11:00 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

Dec 28, 2008 3:41:58 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

the theory is that you're taking ever increasingly closer steps to a permanent lifetime commitment. but you still haven't made a permanent lifetime commitment yet. and as long as you haven't, that means you're keeping your options open, doesn't it?

so you are either single or you are married then there are no cheaters unless they are married.

So say you are dating someone for a year and they start seeing someone else as well as you then that is ok with you.

If it is socially acceptable then the OP can ask the guy if it's ok to go out with his girlfriend

no, because it's not his decision to make. only she can make that decision.

i look at it this way - if there's a woman out there who can take my man away, then i wish she would...and as soon as possible. cuz if she can take him, he wasn't mine to begin with...and the sooner i know that the better. i'm better off without a guy who's secretly just waiting for a better deal to come along.

on the other hand, i'm not into 'stealing' these officially unattached men myself cuz i don't care much for guys who can't make up their mind, or let their little head do all the thinking. and i wouldn't touch a married man with a ten foot pole because he's nothing but a liar if he would do it. i'm also not interested in the polyamorous types myself, but more power to them as long as everyone's being honest with each other and all the children are being properly taken care of. it's just not for me.

[rukryM]

Dec 28, 2008 8:47:03 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

If you come to mye bangalow u weill be banged.

OK, I'm on my way, you better be good ;D.

[pnoopiepnats]

Dec 28, 2008 10:53:42 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

Dec 28, 2008 4:11:00 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

so you are either single or you are married then there are no cheaters unless they are married.

So say you are dating someone for a year and they start seeing someone else as well as you then that is ok with you.

If it is socially acceptable then the OP can ask the guy if it's ok to go out with his girlfriend

no, because it's not his decision to make. only she can make that decision.

i look at it this way - if there's a woman out there who can take my man away, then i wish she would...and as soon as possible. cuz if she can take him, he wasn't mine to begin with...and the sooner i know that the better. i'm better off without a guy who's secretly just waiting for a better deal to come along.

on the other hand, i'm not into 'stealing' these officially unattached men myself cuz i don't care much for guys who can't make up their mind, or let their little head do all the thinking. and i wouldn't touch a married man with a ten foot pole because he's nothing but a liar if he would do it. i'm also not interested in the polyamorous types myself, but more power to them as long as everyone's being honest with each other and all the children are being properly taken care of. it's just not for me.

I guess some people here think marriage is just a piece of paper and I am having a hard time explaining why it isn't.

In my mind, marriage is the ultimate commitment between 2 people It is making a pubic declaration that you intend to stay together, make a life together.

To the people who say you can do that without marriage then how do you do that then?

I figure if someone doesn't want to get married then they better come up with a darn good reason they don't want to or to me, they are just on the fence and not commited.

Maybe you can help explain the difference.

[rukryM]

Dec 28, 2008 10:53:42 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

no, because it's not his decision to make. only she can make that decision.

i look at it this way - if there's a woman out there who can take my man away, then i wish she would...and as soon as possible. cuz if she can take him, he wasn't mine to begin with...and the sooner i know that the better. i'm better off without a guy who's secretly just waiting for a better deal to come along.

on the other hand, i'm not into 'stealing' these officially unattached men myself cuz i don't care much for guys who can't make up their mind, or let their little head do all the thinking. and i wouldn't touch a married man with a ten foot pole because he's nothing but a liar if he would do it. i'm also not interested in the polyamorous types myself, but more power to them as long as everyone's being honest with each other and all the children are being properly taken care of. it's just not for me.

All in all it's not a nice thing to do, even if you're "liberating" a spouse from a liar. Though it might be the best to face the harsh truth, I think decisions and actions like that should be exectuted by they themselves, not others who prey in the dark^^.

[rukryM]

Dec 28, 2008 16:13:44 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

I guess some people here think marriage is just a piece of paper and I am having a hard time explaining why it isn't.

In my mind, marriage is the ultimate commitment between 2 people It is making a pubic declaration that you intend to stay together, make a life together.

To the people who say you can do that without marriage then how do you do that then?

I figure if someone doesn't want to get married then they better come up with a darn good reason they don't want to or to me, they are just on the fence and not commited.

Maybe you can help explain the difference.

I totally agree with all this. It's not just a thing you do because it's common, it's something you should do because you want to grow old and share your life with your love in life. That's why one should await getting married until both yearn equally for it and realise they are meant to be^^.

[MrNice]

All in all it's not a nice thing to do

of course its not a nice thing to do
but sometimes you have to do things that are not nice in order to get what you want

i am not advocating knowingly going after married women or women in relationships,
however going after a woman whose relationship status is not known is perfectly ok, even if she is in a relationship or married - you are not obligated to do this kind of research before flirting or inviting her out. Its up to her to let you know.

[strawberrysweetie]

Dating someone knowing they're already in a relationship (married or not) is wrong.


I think it's proper for one to not intentionally make things happen until one is for sure he/she is single. Of course if two people are complete strangers and don't know of each other's statuses, than the one unaware of the other's relationship is not in the wrong if he/she tries to flirt.

If a person is in a bad relationship, especially an abusive one, than I think it's good to try and convince them to split. But not solely out of the hopes of getting with that person.


But to pine after someone who's already in a relationship....I really think it does no good. To hope that maybe she'll break up with this guy just to take a chance with someone else is too idealistic. It's torturous to expect something to happen with someone who's already taken, imo. Personally, if I realize a guy I like already has a girlfriend...I give up on the idea. Why go after someone who's taken?

There are plenty of other single people out there. Trying to pursue this girl, who's already taken and may not want to leave her boyfriend, is just making you more blind to the available girls that are out there.

[Sweet Pea]

the most practical reason for not pursuing someone who's in some kind of a relationship is that it's probably a big waste of time and energy. but i agree that a person is not obligated to hire a detective to figure out if someone is in a relationship and what kind, how committed, etc. it's easier, quicker and cheaper to just ask. it's his or her reponsibility to let you know if they're in an exclusive relationship.

this is also a handy way to blow someone off. just tell them you have a bf or gf, whether it's true or not.

[xanadu]

Dec 28, 2008 3:41:58 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

the theory is that you're taking ever increasingly closer steps to a permanent lifetime commitment. but you still haven't made a permanent lifetime commitment yet. and as long as you haven't, that means you're keeping your options open, doesn't it?

I totally agree with this. Guys are hunters and opportunists. Like the guy who started this thread... the girl he is interested in is fair game. Nobody knows if she is happy in the relationship or not. If a guy is making excuses not to put a ring on her finger then she may think he really isn't all that committed and if there is a guy who comes along and offers what she wants, then she just may go for it. It may not seem fair to the current boyfriend but hey if he wanted her so bad he would have put a ring on her finger. Most girls aren't interested in being the permanent girlfriend. At some point the guy needs to grow a pair and commit...with a ring and a proposal.

[strawberrysweetie]

Dec 29, 2008 4:12:36 GMT -5 xanadu said:

Dec 28, 2008 3:41:58 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

the theory is that you're taking ever increasingly closer steps to a permanent lifetime commitment. but you still haven't made a permanent lifetime commitment yet. and as long as you haven't, that means you're keeping your options open, doesn't it?

I totally agree with this. Guys are hunters and opportunists. Like the guy who started this thread... the girl he is interested in is fair game. Nobody knows if she is happy in the relationship or not. If a guy is making excuses not to put a ring on her finger then she may think he really isn't all that committed and if there is a guy who comes along and offers what she wants, then she just may go for it. It may not seem fair to the current boyfriend but hey if he wanted her so bad he would have put a ring on her finger. Most girls aren't interested in being the permanent girlfriend. At some point the guy needs to grow a pair and commit...with a ring and a proposal.

But this particular girl has already been married before. And I'm assuming, like the OP, she's only in her twenties.

So in her case, I don't think it would be wise to get married again so fast.

My sister dated her husband for four years before they got married. I think it's important to be with someone for a while before getting hitched. So personally, I think a somewhat long relationship beforehand or long engagement is alright.

In other words, I think two people can be pretty committed to each other even without a ring. Depending on the people, their beliefs, of course.


Supposedly in Latin America, after a guy asks a girl if she's married, the next question will be "Are you happy?" This is what my sister told me because it happened to her and she heard it's common. It's like they think if you're not happy it's okay for them to try to pursue something with you. I personally think that's terribly awful. With or without the ring.

If you want to be with someone, it should be when they're single. I've never understood why people cheat. If you want to be with someone else, then leave the person you're with and then go with the other person. Don't just string them along and play them like they're nothing.

Okay, I'm kind of going of topic since you're not wanting to cheat.


But still, why pursue someone who's already in a relationship? Why are you so set on this girl? I'm sure there are plenty of other (single) girls you could get along with.