Girl

[Sweet Pea]

everyone interested in this thread should watch 'Made of Honor'.

[rukryM]

Another girlish drama movie with lot's of tears and emotions?

[Sweet Pea]

Dec 29, 2008 6:37:43 GMT -5 rukryM said:

Another girlish drama movie with lot's of tears and emotions?

lol, you're a perfect example of why i say girls who want romance should be lesbians.

actually, the movie has fisticuffs too.

[rukryM]

No one's more romantic than I am.

[xanadu]

Dec 29, 2008 5:01:41 GMT -5 @strawberrysweetie said:

But this particular girl has already been married before. And I'm assuming, like the OP, she's only in her twenties.

So in her case, I don't think it would be wise to get married again so fast.

If she isn't looking to getting married soon then why limit herself by only dating one guy. She SHOULD be keeping her options open and is fair game to be asked out by others.

My sister dated her husband for four years before they got married. I think it's important to be with someone for a while before getting hitched. So personally, I think a somewhat long relationship beforehand or long engagement is alright.

In other words, I think two people can be pretty committed to each other even without a ring. Depending on the people, their beliefs, of course.

But he did end up marrying her. How committed would she have continued to be if he drug his feet for another 5 years? I don't think your sister would have stuck around with him for 9 years without marriage. She would be out there looking for someone who wasn't wasting her time.

[rukryM]

Dec 29, 2008 14:57:11 GMT -5 xanadu said:

Dec 29, 2008 5:01:41 GMT -5 @strawberrysweetie said:

But this particular girl has already been married before. And I'm assuming, like the OP, she's only in her twenties.

So in her case, I don't think it would be wise to get married again so fast.

If she isn't looking to getting married soon then why limit herself by only dating one guy. She SHOULD be keeping her options open and is fair game to be asked out by others.

My sister dated her husband for four years before they got married. I think it's important to be with someone for a while before getting hitched. So personally, I think a somewhat long relationship beforehand or long engagement is alright.

In other words, I think two people can be pretty committed to each other even without a ring. Depending on the people, their beliefs, of course.

But he did end up marrying her. How committed would she have continued to be if he drug his feet for another 5 years? I don't think your sister would have stuck around with him for 9 years without marriage. She would be out there looking for someone who wasn't wasting her time.

As long as the emotions are kept to a minimum it's "OK" to date several people, but not to try to "steal" another person's partner. It's wrong and not nice of him to push her boyfriend away so that they can be together. Besides, if she's happy with her boyfriend, why then see another one?

There's a difference between procrastinating a marriage because one isn't sure if that's one wants or because one wants to give the relationship time to grow so that most {all?} sides will come forth, both good and bad. It should at least take 3 years of dating and so on before one chooses to marry the other^^.

[pnoopiepnats]

Dec 29, 2008 6:17:48 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

everyone interested in this thread should watch 'Made of Honor'.

That was a pretty funny movie!

wapwawet has left the building.

[madiocre]

ok i look at it this way
in a nutshell
there is dating/ seeing one another when you sre doing this you are open to see others and the amount of effort and time you put in is really up to you and the people you r dating .
then there is a relationhip where you are boyfriend and girlfriend and you are commited to one another there are ecpectations to meet ,and if you get physicall with another you are cheating but at the same token its not a committment inwhich you have yet decideed whether you both will spend the rest of your lives together. the relationship is about learning the essence of that person and whether when they change and grow old you will still be compatible then if it seems that way you then get married and thus the committment is extended to be lifelong .

then in the case of polygamy...well i guess the whole definitions of all these things kinda change and get confusing and im unsure how that works..... i have seen a case of a friend who indulged in such and it all basically ended in tears despite all openess...

[madiocre]

Dec 29, 2008 6:17:48 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

everyone interested in this thread should watch 'Made of Honor'.

Oh is that one of those movies where only girls get married and boys are just accersories to the wedding.......i hate hollywood convention of weddings it cheapens it and gives wedding such a negative message in terms of gender equality.........


ok stop me now im ranting way too much ......about a movie i havnt even seen

[Sweet Pea]

Dec 29, 2008 17:50:01 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

Dec 29, 2008 6:17:48 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

everyone interested in this thread should watch 'Made of Honor'.

That was a pretty funny movie!

wapwawet has left the building.

oh geez, shy people! lol

[Sweet Pea]

Dec 29, 2008 19:11:23 GMT -5 madiocre said:

Dec 29, 2008 6:17:48 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

everyone interested in this thread should watch 'Made of Honor'.

Oh is that one of those movies where only girls get married and boys are just accersories to the wedding.......i hate hollywood convention of weddings it cheapens it and gives wedding such a negative message in terms of gender equality.........


ok stop me now im ranting way too much ......about a movie i havnt even seen

no, it's a movie about the very thing we were discussing - should you go after someone in a relationship or not?

[MrNice]

I think the OP's issue is more along the lines of being able to have a conversation with a woman rather then figuring out the moral implications of going after someone in a relationship

[solacefox]

Dec 29, 2008 20:17:50 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

Dec 29, 2008 17:50:01 GMT -5 @pnoopiepnats said:

That was a pretty funny movie!

wapwawet has left the building.

oh geez, shy people! lol

It may have been to do with the responses he got in the thread he started about feeling so low that he didn't feel deserving of a relationship at times. The responses he got were all along the lines of "well, if you feel that way about yourself, don't expect anyone else to feel good about you" and "Com'on, buck up, snap out of it" and "feeling sorry for yourself won't get you anywhere" etc.

All were valid viewpoints in one way or another, but the timing of them could have been better. I think if his feelings needed to be acknowledged and validated first, and that maybe he felt a bit raw and therefore a bit beaten up? It was like he got his nose rubbed in it a bit which sucks.

Just my own theory.

Hope things get better, wapwawet .

[rukryM]

Dec 29, 2008 20:19:58 GMT -5 Sweet Pea said:

no, it's a movie about the very thing we were discussing - should you go after someone in a relationship or not?

No you shouldn't. No need to spend money on making a movie and a big deal out of a closed case .

[MrNice]

No you shouldn't.

its not that obvious
this is one of those cases where a friendship can turn into something else
if there is a connection developing and you really feel that this is it, I think you do what you have to do