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Post by brightestdark on Jan 4, 2009 18:43:49 GMT -5
To guys and girls, are you too nervous to give a kiss or hug when you say bye if you go on a first date? What do you usually do? (Please say if you're a guy or girl)
So I'm supposed to be meeting this guy I like in a few weeks in the city half an hour from me. I'm not sure if I'll just get the train home (as I'll probably get the train up there as I am doing something before I meet him) or if he may offer to drive me home. If you were saying bye at a train station how would you do it? And if you were in a car how would you do it? If you are a guy who is driving the girl home would you lean over for a kiss or are you too shy? Would you want the girl to lean over to kiss you? Or not? Would you prefer to hug?
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Post by rukryM on Jan 4, 2009 19:04:36 GMT -5
I'm a male. If you're driving and you lean over for a kiss or a hug it just seems weird. I'd say go out of the car before you choose to do anything. If you're walking the other home or go in separate directions at some point then it may be appropriate. If the date has been successfull and you feel that there is some sort of connection between the two of you I'd give it a shot. Just read the other's body language and see how the atmosphere is. There's actually no answer to that, you have to be there to know. I took a chance on that and succeeded^^.
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Post by brightestdark on Jan 4, 2009 19:39:29 GMT -5
But how do you say to him driving to stop the car and get out? What if he is just sat in the driver's seat ready to drive off? How do I tell him to stop the car and get out? LOL.
Also, if the guy drives the girl home he doesn't expect to come in for a drink or anything, does he? I mean, I wouldn't DO ANYTHING on the first date (I'm straight edge so wouldn't for a while) - but I'm wondering if he drove me home and I just say bye is the guy gonna be bummed out that he didn't get invited in? Or is it ok to just say bye at the car? The guy I like lives maybe 45mins drive away, so is he gonna be thinking 'damn I drove her all this way and she didn't even ask me in for a drink?'
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 4, 2009 19:42:23 GMT -5
To guys and girls, are you too nervous to give a kiss or hug when you say bye if you go on a first date? What do you usually do? (Please say if you're a guy or girl) So I'm supposed to be meeting this guy I like in a few weeks in the city half an hour from me. I'm not sure if I'll just get the train home (as I'll probably get the train up there as I am doing something before I meet him) or if he may offer to drive me home. If you were saying bye at a train station how would you do it? And if you were in a car how would you do it? If you are a guy who is driving the girl home would you lean over for a kiss or are you too shy? Would you want the girl to lean over to kiss you? Or not? Would you prefer to hug? i'd say the first date is usually gonna be too soon for a kiss on the mouth for most people. a hug, a kiss on the cheek maybe, but i think a kiss on the mouth would be somewhat of a shock on a first date. and i don't think it's a matter of nervousness. i just think it takes spending time with someone for awhile before most people are ready for something that physically intimate. i think the emotional intimacy usually comes first. |
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Post by rukryM on Jan 4, 2009 19:44:19 GMT -5
I wouldn't mind a cute girl kissing me on the first date.
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Post by rukryM on Jan 4, 2009 19:48:29 GMT -5
But how do you say to him driving to stop the car and get out? What if he is just sat in the driver's seat ready to drive off? How do I tell him to stop the car and get out? LOL. Also, if the guy drives the girl home he doesn't expect to come in for a drink or anything, does he? I mean, I wouldn't DO ANYTHING on the first date (I'm straight edge so wouldn't for a while) - but I'm wondering if he drove me home and I just say bye is the guy gonna be bummed out that he didn't get invited in? Or is it ok to just say bye at the car? The guy I like lives maybe 45mins drive away, so is he gonna be thinking 'damn I drove her all this way and she didn't even ask me in for a drink?' You simply ask him to stop the car and that you want to get out. Just as you would with anyone else. Don't make a scene out of it, he'll probably understand. If he drives you home he cannot expect you to invite him in unless you've made it clear to him. If you exit the vehicle and go for the house he'll know you're not inviting him in and should accept it. That will be a good time to maybe give him a hug or something if you feel like it. It's all up to the connection between you and if you feel like doing it. |
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Post by brightestdark on Jan 4, 2009 20:13:04 GMT -5
Ok, thanks.
Most people who give me rides don't get out of their car to say bye. I'm in England and we're not so huggy. When I have been to the US visiting friends they have gotten out to give me a hug when I have to go to the airport or something but I'm really not used to a normal friend in England getting out of the car. And I haven't been on a date forever (I'm picky and most guys I don't find attractive).
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Post by rukryM on Jan 4, 2009 20:16:26 GMT -5
. I'm in England and we're not so huggy. When I was been to the US visiting friends they have got out to give me a hug when I have to go to the airport or something but I'm really not used to a normal friend in England getting out of the car. So yanks are more willing to hug than you Brits, eh  ? Having just a friend getting out of a car to hug you is inappropriate and in most cases one should await until one knows the other a bit, though. |
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Post by Bodhi on Jan 4, 2009 22:24:01 GMT -5
I've had very similar questions, I'm glad girls think about this the same as guys do. I agree with the comment that its awkward for a guy to go in for a kiss in a car, just logistically. But, if you're a girl it is hard to tell the guy, "Would you walk me to the door." Although I'm sure most guys would gladly do it. I think you could invite him in for a drink, although you might be giving off the wrong message, i.e. that you want to be more physical with him.
My advice on the first date is just to let him drop you off and leave it at that. Unless the date went so well that you two have some intense attraction, first dates are more just figuring the person out and seeing if you want to see them again. If you do, go on a second date and then the physical stuff can start. If after the second date things are going well and he again drops you off, invite him up, if you feel comfortable enough with him. If you do though, expect him to be expecting something physical will happen, at least just making out. I probably would assume that, and would guess most guys would. If you don't feel comfortable with that, don't invite him up.
These situations are very tough, at least for me. Being a guy, I sometimes have terrible trouble figuring out what to do, and when and where to do it. Everyone says it should come naturally, but it usually doesn't for me. So I hope you have better luck than I have had, good luck!
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 4, 2009 22:36:49 GMT -5
. I'm in England and we're not so huggy. When I was been to the US visiting friends they have got out to give me a hug when I have to go to the airport or something but I'm really not used to a normal friend in England getting out of the car. So yanks are more willing to hug than you Brits, eh ? Having just a friend getting out of a car to hug you is inappropriate and in most cases one should await until one knows the other a bit, though. and yet you'd wanna liplock with a virtual stranger on your first date? |
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Post by fightingspirit on Jan 5, 2009 1:12:47 GMT -5
My (limited) experience with girls shows that it's best to initiate some physical contact as early as possible. It doesn't have to be an all-out make out session, but at least touching her arm or her back leads to an elevated romantic tension. Without it, the date dissolves into a platonic experience. There's nothing exciting about it and even if it's not terrible, it's usually not enough to score another date.
For girls, it's not nearly as difficult. You can leave it up to the guy. Of course you can give him some subtle or not so subtle queue such as a sultry look or a seductive smile. Whether you give it, of course, will depend on whether you want to escalate things physically, but I would be surprised if the guy didn't pick up on it once you do.
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Post by rukryM on Jan 5, 2009 6:32:53 GMT -5
So yanks are more willing to hug than you Brits, eh ? Having just a friend getting out of a car to hug you is inappropriate and in most cases one should await until one knows the other a bit, though. and yet you'd wanna liplock with a virtual stranger on your first date? It she's hot and as long as she doesn't have to step out of the car. |
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Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 5, 2009 12:22:42 GMT -5
and yet you'd wanna liplock with a virtual stranger on your first date? It she's hot and as long as she doesn't have to step out of the car. i'm confused. what does stepping out of the car have to do with it?  |
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Post by rukryM on Jan 5, 2009 12:26:32 GMT -5
Never mind, I totally misunderstood.
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Post by brightestdark on Jan 6, 2009 18:09:46 GMT -5
lol. Thanks for the replies and advice. At the mo now I'm thinking there's not gonna be a first date. Haven't heard for him for a few days - although he still has time to go on the site we started chatting on. He just hasn't replied to my last email. Grr. Looks like I'm jinxed and destined to be single forever...  |
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