|
|
Post by nelo on Jan 14, 2009 22:11:01 GMT -5
Well...sounds like he's trying to get with you because it seems like his other relationship is unstable and likely to fail since his ex. sounds like a cheater (lots of man-friends). Doesn't sound like he's cheating so much preparing for disaster.
|
|
|
|
Post by brightestdark on Jan 17, 2009 18:08:33 GMT -5
Well we met. Surprise surprise he didn't look as good as his first few pix - so to be honest I'm not sure if I'm very attracted to him. I was a bit disappointed. We got on great and chatted for ages. I was the one who made the suggestion for me to leave first. I think he would have stayed all night (we were in a bar) had I not said anything. I asked about his girlfriend (or ex, as the case may be) and he said 'I think we're going back to just being friends'. Was wondering if he said that because he was attracted to me... Just seems weird that he'd seen her twice the weekend before and everything was fine. He had a few texts while we were there and I caught the top of one of them and it said 'Good luck'. I'm thinking it was a friend saying good luck on the meeting with me. When I had mentioned leaving early to get home, we also noticed there was a band playing downstairs and he said 'we could go down and watch the band' but I said I'd rather go home! lol. I feel bad now incase he got the impression I really wasn't into him. I probably gave off that vibe. I texted him when I got home to say I enjoyed hanging out with him and I would have liked to have stayed longer but I really had to get back, and any other night I would have hung out longer. I do like him as a person - but I wasn't physically attracted to him. I'm wondering if I hung out with him more if I might be able to make myself more attracted to him (to be honest, I do think he'd be interested in me, and I think if I was interested in him he'd want to see me more. He also checked that he's still ok to meet up with me next week for the concert I invited him to. I said of course.) When I texted him when I got home I also said 'make sure you come on msn' and one minute later he came on msn, and we chatted for another hour. During our meet-up (I'm not calling it a date!) we also talked about birthdays and he'd just missed mine (in Dec as we didn't know each other so well then) and he replied 'there's always next year! (as if he plans on us still being in touch then). I added him to my myspace friends last night and looked today and he'd put me in his top friends (although his ex is number 1!), so that was nice.
So overall, basically, he seems a nice person but I wasn't really attracted to him. But I'm going to stay in touch and meet up with him again and am hoping an attraction grows on me. I think I would have freaked out (just because I don't feel attracted to him) had he tried to kiss me. Thankfully he just hugged me hi and bye.
|
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Jan 17, 2009 19:07:07 GMT -5
Well, just bear in mind that he's still seeing his ex, though they're "just friends". Things may escalate to a more intimate level on that front.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 17, 2009 19:57:06 GMT -5
i don't recall ever having an attraction 'grow on me', so good luck with that. i'd be interested to hear about it if it does happen.
|
|
|
|
Post by nelo on Jan 17, 2009 23:32:35 GMT -5
I've heard of friends ending up falling in love with other friends after a while.
|
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Jan 18, 2009 5:18:45 GMT -5
When friends become lovers they're taking a huge risk. If the relationship comes to a halt after a while so does {most likely} the friendship and one might lose a person for life.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 18, 2009 6:19:26 GMT -5
When friends become lovers they're taking a huge risk. If the relationship comes to a halt after a while so does {most likely} the friendship and one might lose a person for life. that's a risk i'm prepared to take, lol. |
|
|
|
Post by Bodhi on Jan 18, 2009 8:28:48 GMT -5
I'd be careful if you really aren't attracted to him. He seems like he is attracted to you, and probably is under the impression this is a romantic thing you two are pursuing. If you go on a second date(and I bet he is thinking its a date), he might try to kiss you or something. Unless you are ready for that situation to come up, I wouldn't go out again. You don't want to lead him on and then he might get pretty upset when you decline his advances.
There is a chance you might grow attracted to him physically, if you really like his personality. But, I wouldn't count on that, its probably a long shot.
|
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Jan 18, 2009 8:34:41 GMT -5
that's a risk i'm prepared to take, lol. I think such a break up and closure has so severe consequences in such a big scale that you'll end up regretting doing it for the rest of your life. Depends on how strong the friendship was before it turned into a relationship, but still I'd advocate not doing it^^. |
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 18, 2009 15:03:23 GMT -5
that's a risk i'm prepared to take, lol. I think such a break up and closure has so severe consequences in such a big scale that you'll end up regretting doing it for the rest of your life. Depends on how strong the friendship was before it turned into a relationship, but still I'd advocate not doing it^^. yeah, i suppose if it was the only friend you have or it was a super important friendship to you - as in you'd just be miserable without this person's friendship - that it could be very hard. but the thing is, i want a relationship with my best friend, so this is a risk i will have to take to get what i want. and i'm prepared to take that risk. nothing ventured, nothing gained. i figure if i let fear stop me, i'll never even leave the house much less get the relationship of my dreams. |
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Jan 18, 2009 16:36:22 GMT -5
Oh, you're actually saying you're trying to convert an actual friendship into a relationship^^? I'd be happy to hear how it'll evolve and what steps you take as this is just something that to me seems theoretically impossible to accomplish.
|
|
|
|
Post by Sweet Pea on Jan 18, 2009 16:40:16 GMT -5
Oh, you're actually saying you're trying to convert an actual friendship into a relationship^^? I'd be happy to hear how it'll evolve and what steps you take as this is just something that to me seems theoretically impossible to accomplish. no, i envision more of a simultaneous evolution - you become best friends as your relationship unfolds. |
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Jan 18, 2009 16:45:22 GMT -5
But a man and a woman in a relationship aren't "best friends", they're taking the relation between them to a more profound, dependent and intimate level.
|
|
|
|
Post by pnoopiepnats on Jan 18, 2009 16:52:12 GMT -5
But a man and a woman in a relationship aren't "best friends", they're taking the relation between them to a more profound, dependent and intimate level. Why wouldn't they be best friends? |
|
|
|
Post by rukryM on Jan 18, 2009 16:54:40 GMT -5
Best friends don't love each other romantically or shag {normally}.
|
|
