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Post by billd1 on Aug 25, 2016 11:45:30 GMT -5
Here is a link to the message board which has the page about controversey over just how many co-founders there mighthave actually been, of Alcoholics Anonymous. www.thefix.com/The name of the message board is, "the fix addiction and recovery, straight up." It looks like a very good message board, and I have since re-visited it, and plan to do so more in the future.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 25, 2016 11:41:37 GMT -5
Early in September of my 7th Grade year, I watched Dr. Billy Graham on TV and was scared into Getting Saved, because I did not want to go to hell, as Dr. Graham warned me would happen if I didn't Get Saved.
I firmly believe in the old cliche "I don't discuss politics or Spritual matters(changed from "Religion" to avoid provoking some Christians), but I think that that event in the Seventh Grade was important, and might have some bearing on what lay ahead in the future for me.
Six months after Getting Saved, I began to wonder, "is this real? Am I really saved?'
So, I continued to watch Dr. Billy Graham's crusades for many years after that.
The reason I am mentioning this, is that it relates to my attempts to get help with my problem, as I discuss in depth on my other thread, "Grasping At Straws."
I think that many other people probably could tell similar stories.
Of course, the budding sexuality of seventh graders is also important, with their bodies maturing.
I think that having a smell to the perspiration odor is part of the body changing into adulthood, and early in the seventh grade, I also noticed my perspiration did have an odor, and I started using Right Guard deoderant, for the first time in my life.
I also noticed that my muscles were developing, with my being able to see veins below my skin, on my biceps and my biceps becoming very hard.
Sexual things , along with politics and spiritual things are also extremely touchy and I generally try to avoid discussing.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 25, 2016 11:38:01 GMT -5
This thread is a supplement to my other current thread, "Grasping At Straws," where I intend to briefly discuss the importance of the Seventh Grade in the development of my SA over the following years and into my adult life.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 25, 2016 11:35:21 GMT -5
Thanks for the post, marie. I'm not sure if my seventh grade experiences determined the course of my life or not, but I have a feeling that if things had been different for me at that time, and if I had been able to get some help back then there would have been a chance that things would have turned out differently for me.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 25, 2016 11:32:55 GMT -5
Right now, I can't remember the name of that web page, but it is a good one that I want to check out further.
And, I'm sure you have noticed my avatar of Ray Phillips the Hermit.
I will scan the hard copy of the photo for better sharpness when I find it.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 24, 2016 8:56:40 GMT -5
I would say that in my own life, and in the development of my SA/SP, The Seventh Grade was probably the focal point, and the most crucial, most important time in my life, and my winding up in the situation that I am in toady, of being virtually cut off from any relationships with anybody.
In the reading I've done, I have found that writers on social problems often state that The Seventh Grade is probably the most important time in a youngster's life, and that it determines the course that their lives will follow in their future years.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 16:40:09 GMT -5
that's cool billd1 you all need to bring other people here or something like that I'm thinking of using Ray Phillips, the Hermit of Mananna Island, Maine, as my avatar. I've got an opitcal photo of him from a newspaper story, which isn't as sharp as I'd want. First, I've got to find the file size needed for an avatar, then, get my new avatar sized right to change in my profile. I will try scanning the photo of Ray Phillips, but it might take awhile to find the hard copy, to do the scan, so I will start with the less sharp optical photo if I have to. Also, to hopefully get some new life into this board, I am going to start a post titled, "Grasping at Straws," about my attempts to get help with my Shyness problem. Hope both of those things do some good. Here is a more medium shot of Ray Phillips the Hermit. Also thinking of possibly using artist's conception of Howard Hughes during his final hermit years, since the only photo taken of him during that time, was sabatoged by one of his aides covering up his face before the photographer could snap the camera shutter. Did a net search on Bill W & Dr. Bog and found out that there is a lot of debate among AAs over just how many founders the group actually had, some claiming others besides Bill W & Dr. Bob, starting with as many as six and probably more including Bill W & Dr Bob.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 12:31:03 GMT -5
I did watch some of Death Notes.
What do you call the still, comic book style of anime?
I have read the still Ischi the Killer, which I found too way out as far as the horror aspect went, and Death Notes, which sometimes had some very beautiful art work, but on the whole became a boring chore to read to the end.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 12:19:32 GMT -5
I remember back in high school, most of the other guys could grow hair on their face, but I seemed to be much slower maturing than them.
I think for a young guy to be a bit worried about such a thing is not unusual in the least.
But, when I saw a doctor to discuss this with him, his reaction did nothing but make me think that doctors, and other professionals for that matter, are not all they are cracked up to be.
And, this very spooky experience with this doctor, who I'll call "Dr. A," was the beginning of my conclusion that lay support groups, for me, at least, are preferable to "professional help."
I felt somewhat nervous confiding my concern to Dr. A.
After I did so, what did he say?
"There is something that you are not facing."
That was it. He was not in the least interested in whether my body was maturing as rapidly as it should.
And, he was right. There was something I was not facing.
My shyness.
How could he, having just met me, know that about me?
I'm sure he didn't know specifically what it was that I was not facing.
But, he was right. I was not facing the problem of my shyness and trying to solve it.
When he said to me: "There is something you are not facing," I felt like he could read my mind, like he knew all about me and I could not keep anything private or secret from him.
Dr. A (maybe Dr. A-- H---?), after a brief examination simply told me: "You can expect little change," then told me: "I am treating young men your age for baldness. Suppose you had cancer and only had six months to live?"
He gave me the old lecture, that "what matters is the attitude you take toward it."
"You should be glad you can't grow hair on your face. That way, you won't have to shave."
I didn't tell him that I wanted to be able to grow hair on my face so I could shave it off.
I wanted to grow hair on my face and keep it on my face, because I thought I'd look good with it. for Cripes Sake!
Then he went back to "there's something you are not facing."
Well, he was right about that, I knew that I was not facing the problem of my shyness. but helping people with that problem was not his specialty.
I asked him about a physical condition that I'm sure a lot of young men might very well have a valid reason to be concerned about.
Why would that mean that there was something I was not facing?
If there had been an Shy Anonymous, I would have told Dr. A:
"Yes, you are right. There is something I am not facing. It is my shyness. Do you know if there are any local Shy Anonymous groups, and when and where they meet?"
To be continued -
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 12:14:57 GMT -5
My first story, the beginning of my disenchantment with Professional Help, & my gravitating toward lay support groups is next.
It is about a Very SPOOKY encounter I had with a doctor.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 12:13:07 GMT -5
I've been on this forum almost eight years now, and I have not found any help with my Shyness problem.
Actually, on joining, I didn't expect to find any help.
As a broken down, wrecked and ruined, old man, I am Helpless and Hopeless to find any help with my problem.
My main focus in this thread will be my efforts at trying to find help, all the way back to my young adult years.
And, my efforts are what I call, "Grasping At Straws."
And, by telling the long story of my Grasping At Straws over the past 40 or so years, I'm hoping those younger than me might be better able to find help with their shyness than I have, and not wind up in their old age in the same, Helpless, Hopeless situation that I have been all my life, and will be in, until I Depart the Physical Vehicle.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 11:34:36 GMT -5
And, a mutual hello to you, T-Rex. I used to do a lot of pushups, and liked doing them, but today, I don't like pushups any more, but I do very much like to jog,which I do just about every day, with few days off.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 11:31:53 GMT -5
Thanks for the post, mare. Best wishes to you from myself, also.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 11:29:33 GMT -5
PS to last one. Since I choose my user name in honor of Bill W, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, I had thought of using a photo of Bill D as my avatar.
But, while the term "anonynmous" for a group name is not patented or registered as a trademark by AA, and anyone who wants to start an anonymous or 12 step group can do so, AA still does have some of their stuff copyrighted.
I have also thought of using Bill W's co-founder Dr. Bob, who I do not think I have ever seen a photo of, as my avatar, but, again there might be copyright problems with AA, and besides, Dr. Bob's photo wouldn't be right unless I changed my user name to drbob2, which I don't want to do.
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Post by billd1 on Aug 23, 2016 11:23:57 GMT -5
that's cool billd1 you all need to bring other people here or something like that I'm thinking of using Ray Phillips, the Hermit of Mananna Island, Maine, as my avatar. I've got an opitcal photo of him from a newspaper story, which isn't as sharp as I'd want. First, I've got to find the file size needed for an avatar, then, get my new avatar sized right to change in my profile. I will try scanning the photo of Ray Phillips, but it might take awhile to find the hard copy, to do the scan, so I will start with the less sharp optical photo if I have to. Also, to hopefully get some new life into this board, I am going to start a post titled, "Grasping at Straws," about my attempts to get help with my Shyness problem. Hope both of those things do some good.
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