What makes a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

[urbanspaceman]

sweetpea said:

rose said:

I've heard (and personally believe) that some of the most succesful couples started out as best friends. Obviously it helps if he/she is someone you can really click with in a special way. It makes the relationship much more solid. I think a lot of the people who base relationships on attraction and/or sex alone will be disappointed in the long run, and get bored with each other like a? said.

yeah, and that's why it's important to overcome your shyness to the point where you can give people an idea of who you are, what your interests and values are, etc. knowing someone is shy isn't enough. shy is just one small part of the personality.

I have little to say on this subject, mainly through lack of experience and sheer ignorance, aside from agreeing with what both Rose and Sweetpea say here.

[pnoopiepnats]

Mr. Nice what qualities do you think make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

[Paulinus]

Someone human would be a good start..though I guess simply humanoid would do

[theinfiniteabyss84]

paulthequiet said:

Someone human would be a good start..though I guess simply humanoid would do

[Scotty]

Mmmm, Johnny 5. I would do naughty things to that sexy robot.

[MrNice]

I don't know where you find the problem lies for shy men (i'm asking you).. do you think it's with getting a girl interested in the first place, or actually knowing what to do when it happens?

there is lots of problems for shy men
I am feeling lazy so I'll just point to someone else's story - I can totally relate to most things there
succeedsocially.com/shyguys

the last two paragraphs are particularly important

[airburst]

Someone who you can really "click" with and are attracted to as well.

[airburst]

lsdima said:

I don't know where you find the problem lies for shy men (i'm asking you).. do you think it's with getting a girl interested in the first place, or actually knowing what to do when it happens?

there is lots of problems for shy men
I am feeling lazy so I'll just point to someone else's story - I can totally relate to most things there
succeedsocially.com/shyguys

the last two paragraphs are particularly important

Damn. I can really identify with that last paragraph.

[Paulinus]

theinfiniteabyss84 said:

paulthequiet said:

Someone human would be a good start..though I guess simply humanoid would do

hmm well...how could anyone not love Johnny Five

[Sweet Pea]

lsdima said:

I don't know where you find the problem lies for shy men (i'm asking you).. do you think it's with getting a girl interested in the first place, or actually knowing what to do when it happens?

there is lots of problems for shy men
I am feeling lazy so I'll just point to someone else's story - I can totally relate to most things there
succeedsocially.com/shyguys

the last two paragraphs are particularly important

i like how the last part is phrased so that it gives all the responsibility for getting past a shy guy's insecurities to the other person. that's realistic.

[MrNice]

Mr. Nice what qualities do you think make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

I would like to be in a relationship with a girl who is unattractive, annoying, dishonest, frigid, boring, stupid, careless, would cheat on me all the time and spend all my money. Drug addiction or alcoholism is a plus but not required.

[MrNice]

i like how the last part is phrased so that it gives all the responsibility for getting past a shy guy's insecurities to the other person. that's realistic.

you are taking things out of context
it is obvious that the a guy is responsible for improving himself, and that whole site is dedicated to that
that particular section was written specifically with the question of 'how do I go after a shy guy' in mind

[annaa]

lsdima said:

I would like to be in a relationship with a girl who is unattractive, annoying, dishonest, frigid, boring, stupid, careless, would cheat on me all the time and spend all my money. Drug addiction or alcoholism is a plus but not required.

It's official. I absolutely DO NOT understand your "sense of humour".

MrNice - the reason I took offense from your post is that you told me specifically that my advice would "screw shy guys up". I don't like that - because I am an individual.. I would be prepared to actually date a shy guy, sexual naivety and all, without the desire to change him.
So please - stop attacking me with your frustration. I understand women who say the stuff I do, without any true intentions of going out with a shy guy, really do annoy you but...

I do not speak for the whole of the female population. I am an individual and when I express an opinion it's unique to me.

You want my honest opinion?
If I heard the Miss Average say to a shy guy the things i've typed in this thread... i'd be pretty pissy too. That sort of "Oh sex appeal doesn't matter - don't change who you are - be yourself and someone will come along" talk can potentially be damaging if the girl (or guy.. it works both ways) has no intention of being in a relationship with that person.

I just want to refer you back to this post I made (the last one where I say "my two pennies worth"). I can't be bothered to type my opinion on this subject out again.

[MrNice]

I don't know how to explain it any more then I already have

shy/nice guys need to be MORE OPEN ABOUT THEIR SEXUALITY - NOT LESS

but the constant complaining about it (all that guys are interested in is sex, sex is not everything, blah blah) drives them even further into a shell

I was hoping that the article I posted would get you some insight but it doesn't seem to be the case

That sort of "Oh sex appeal doesn't matter - don't change who you are - be yourself and someone will come along" talk can potentially be damaging if the girl (or guy.. it works both ways) has no intention of being in a relationship with that person.

it doesn't matter whether a guy wants to be in a short or long relationship. Its damaging either way. Why is this so difficult to understand? Shy guys avoid anything sexual like fire, in order to show that 'I care about much more then sex' mr'nice guy attitude. I went through this many times myself - and it always ends up with a girl wanting to be just friends.

MrNice - the reason I took offense from your post is that you told me specifically that my advice would "screw shy guys up". I don't like that - because I am an individual.. I would be prepared to actually date a shy guy, sexual naivety and all, without the desire to change him.
So please - stop attacking me with your frustration. I understand women who say the stuff I do, without any true intentions of going out with a shy guy, really do annoy you but...

and where am I attacking you? In my last reply I pointed out an article - why do you bring all this back again?

And I know this is probably going to start another storm, but you intentions to date a shy guy may not translate into you actually dating a shy guy. You miss average is just as genuine with her advice as you. A woman's explanation is always simple 'I just don't feel that way about you'. You can argue of course that it had nothing to do with the problem I am talking about but my observations are otherwise.

often the reason she doesn't feel THAT WAY (or in some cases lost her feelings after a short period of time) is because the guy was suppressing any hint of sexuality or romantic attraction himself, along with a general fear of doing anything that may not be considered nice or trigger a rejection. He is a nice guy and a great friend, but never a lover.

[MrNice]

Perhaps it's giving them an easy excuse to hide?

yes it does - but after a while the excuse makes its way into the personality

"Sex is not everything" is not complaining - it's honesty... some women don't think it's a big deal at all.

saying 'sex is not everything' is in opposition to 'sex is everything'
did a nice/shy guy ever present you a point of view that sex is everything?

Having "low sex appeal" isn't the fault of girls saying "sex isn't important" at all - it's all to do with the guy concerned.

its not their fault - but as you correctly pointed out it gives the guy an excuse for his fears

Of course they do - i've seen it for myself.. but some women like modesty. Unfortunately, it's usually the "hot girls" that prefer things to be more explicit... Bad news - you can't have everything you want.

modesty is one thing - avoidance at all cost is way beyond modesty