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Post by Outcast on Oct 16, 2018 23:49:24 GMT -5
I think i had wanted a potential romantic relationship. If it didn't work out a friendship i suppose. Since i really have no idea of what i'm looking for in a girl, i guess i was letting things flow naturally. Then see how things work out. Along the way, there were times that i have my doubts if Belle really likes me or if i would be happy with a girl like Belle. In the end, i guess i decided that she may not be the one that is right for me.
Now i know its possible for a couple not to like the same things. I've mostly assumed that it was necessary requirement for a relationship to bloom. There's all this talk about finding a connection.
I guess you're right about attractiveness. I just notice that i tend to do more things for the girl when i'm attracted to her. Thanks for the advice. The list of things you mentioned might help clear things up for me. Maybe i need to write them down. I don't usually have a checklist ready when i try to look for/meet girls for potential romantic relationships. I just don't think i know what i'm doing. I think i'm walking blindly in the dark or walking blindfolded.
UPDATE on Belle: I greeted her a happy birthday thru text only. And she replied with a thank you (smiley). Anyways, i'm not sure if i can still go thru meeting with her in person and giving her a gift. Don't know, maybe we can still be "distant" friends.
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Post by Outcast on Oct 13, 2018 2:50:26 GMT -5
The day is almost upon me. Yeah still feeling some uncertainty here too. It would only be polite to greet her a happy birthday right? But usually we do eventually meet up during this time. And i give her a birthday present. Man, i haven't really thought of anything yet to get her.
I'm asking myself, have i been a good friend to her? at all? I haven't really talked to her for a while. Does it make sense that i can call myself her friend? So i dunno what to do. I might just end up doing the wrong thing again. As i just let things, i dunno roll? or i'm just going with the flow of things?
I dont know. Maybe i'll get my answer by how she responds to my birthday greeting i guess. If i do get one.
Well, that it for now. This place is my big diary you know. Bwahahaha.
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Post by Outcast on Oct 13, 2018 2:42:26 GMT -5
I need some advice. If i can get some, it would be great.
So apparently, that last dating site i was trying was really bad. In a sense that you need to pay before you get to see the message your receiving. So there was really no way of communicating with each other if you don't pay.
Now, i've tried another dating site. And i got to chat with one or two people there. I'm really not sure if there is any progress with either of them. I'm sure they have other people to chat with beside me.
With that sense of uncertainty, i do try to look for other fish in the sea. Hoping to at least chat with them, get to know them, maybe be friends(doubt it though). And just you know gain some experience being social and trying to possible get a date at some point in time.
I do feel guilty sometimes. When i like a certain girl i'm chatting with, but still feel unsure that she likes me back enough to maybe agree with a date. To say, that i'm still continuing to look for other "prospects". Or that i'm chatting with other people too. Trying to get to know if we can click or not. Would a girl see that as me being a "player"? I mean i guess it would be ok if a girl chatted with more than one guy right? But maybe if a guy did the same, it would be taken more as being a "player"?
I dunno. So yeah. Feeling guilty that i'm still trying to look for other people. When i did like a girl i was chatting with, but i felt that she was somehow not that interested in me as a date prospect. Maybe i was jumping to the wrong conclusions but she did say she had a few others she was chatting with. So she also asked me how many i was chatting with, and i told her there was this other one i was chatting with. Then, she didn't respond to me anymore.
*sighs*
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Post by Outcast on Oct 10, 2018 23:40:50 GMT -5
Who would you want to date?
Given the opportunity to do either of the two.
Would you go out with the person you are physically attracted to?
Or
Would you go out with the person you have a lot of things in common?
If you want to explain your answer, you can always do so by posting it here. Thanks.
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Post by Outcast on Oct 8, 2018 6:54:03 GMT -5
the man who sold the world - nirvana
the black keys - lonely boy
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Post by Outcast on Oct 8, 2018 6:13:42 GMT -5
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Post by Outcast on Oct 5, 2018 6:08:29 GMT -5
That does make it sound like she was saying there’s something bad about being shy. But I think, maybe she sees how being shy might affect you and misspoke when she said there’s something “wrong” with you. Maybe you should ask her what she meant by that? Also, I really don’t believe being shy is something that you can’t change. I’ve definitely become less shy than when I was a kid. If it were impossible, then you wouldn’t hear about all the people who say they’ve overcome their shyness. What was your fortune though? Got any luck in your future? 😌🔮 She might mean well, but i think her approach is a bit rough. Basically she thinks/says i'm just weak when she sees me trying to avoid talking to girls. She believes girls are the only ones who are excused to be shy. Guys shouldn't be shy. Or maybe have no reason to be shy. So her statement that there is something "wrong" with me maybe taken in literally from her point of view. She may have forgotten that my dad used to be shy and quiet as well around her. I dunno. Yes, i know there are a lot of stories out there of people overcoming their shyness. I guess there maybe something wrong with me if i still can't overcome it up to now. As for the fortune, there is no fortune reading or anything like that. My mom just believes i belong to a "sign" that is supposedly more better than the other "signs" out there. That's just her belief though and i don't really agree with her.
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Post by Outcast on Oct 3, 2018 23:17:16 GMT -5
Well. I knew it wouldn't last long. We had an interesting conversation today.
Mom: You know your horoscope sign is said to be the best. You're supposed to be better than the other signs out there. You're brother's sign is the lowest among them.
Me: Well then it's probably not true then. Those horoscope signs or whatever are all fake then.
Mom: No. There is something wrong with you. I don't know why you are so quiet and shy.
Me: ............
Sometimes that just makes me want to act differently if i can. Just want to start acting all confident and proud of myself in front of other people. To an extreme extent. Like a person full of hot air. Cause i know i have nothing to back such confidence up.
Well. I know i shouldn't let this affect me. So i'm not going to think about it or dwell on it anymore. I'm only human. And this just happens to be how i grew up to be. Take it or leave it. That's just me. I have other strengths that other extroverts or outgoing people out there don't have. Like any other people out there in their social media accounts, I'm just gonna try to be happy with what i've got.
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Post by Outcast on Oct 1, 2018 2:54:56 GMT -5
Today. Surprisingly my mom complimented me. Whenever i start to doubt myself or feel down, I should just try to remember this time. Hehe.
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Post by Outcast on Oct 1, 2018 2:46:38 GMT -5
Well, it's been some time since i turned down Belle invitation to watch a concert she really liked.
I guess it's only natural that i've not heard from her since. So we haven't really contacted each other after that.
It's almost that time of the year. Belle's birthday is coming soon. I think it would really make her feel bad if i stopped greeting her. I think that would really sort of end our relationship as "friends"?
What do you guys think? Am i overthinking things again and should i just go with my greeting? Without thinking too much about it?
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Post by Outcast on Sept 25, 2018 22:01:16 GMT -5
Things are slowing down now. As i kind of expected them to be. Some people just don't reply to me anymore. When this happens, all that "online bravado" quickly disappears. There are times that i feel i shouldn't give up and continue to TRY and get a reply from them. But i don't want to force a reply from them, since that what i feel when they take some time to get back to you or just don't reply to you at all. I guess i'm stubborn in trying to force myself to think of things to say on my own. Then end up having thought of anything good. When i force myself to say/write something to them, sometimes i end up showing all my negativity about myself. I think that's when things start falling apart, and i give off a pitiful or weird vibe or something. I think this is what i should really try to avoid doing. Anyways, i guess getting no replies gives some time to rest for awhile. Well maybe i'll try reaching out to them after a time. I could be just overdoing it since i really unsure about how to go about things "socially". But i have to take the "hint" sometime if people just don't want to talk to me anymore.
That's that for now. Just letting things out.
EDIT: Oh. I think it kinda helps if i don't make a big deal out of friends/having friends. Media maybe putting too much importance on friends and putting them on a pedestal. If i lower my standards of what friends are/for, i can expect less of them and won't have to feel too bad or take things too seriously. Then still go on about trying to meet new people.
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Post by Outcast on Sept 25, 2018 21:45:58 GMT -5
Maybe it’s that you feel more comfortable talking to someone online rather than in person, because you are shy? I think that’s fine, as long as you are friendly because you want to talk to them, rather than doing it because you feel like you have to. edit: ^ Okay, that’s also kind of what the article above said. Well, I don’t know you that well - but I’m willing to bet that’s not true. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Thanks for the kind words Shyborg. Yes, i'm trying not to be too hard on myself. But sometimes the feelings just rushes in or is it they come pouring out.
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Post by Outcast on Sept 21, 2018 5:32:53 GMT -5
Well. I've managed to gain one or two penpals at least in Slowly. I've also met and chatted with at least two more people in a different app called HelloTalk. It's an app aimed to those who want to learn a new language and meet native speakers.
Then, i'm also trying to form friendships from a few people i've met via a dating site.
It can turn quite busy when i have to talk to more than one of them at the same time. So sometimes i find myself trying to spare some time for all of them.
So yeah, having to do that. It does eat some of my free time for myself. But i think i'm learning a little bit how to talk to people. Just a little bit. Sometimes i still run out of things to talk about. (Maybe i have to come back to this site often to check the tips ShyBorg gave me.
Anyways. That's my small update. I don't have much luck talking with people in Bottled. I don't think most people there are in it for chatting long?
Oh and i haven't tried Whisper yet. Since i think i've met quite a handful of people already.
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Post by Outcast on Sept 20, 2018 3:12:42 GMT -5
linkOk. I think it would be better for me to limit or stop my online chatting. EDIT: I am not sure i can stop my online chatting for now. I've met some new people online. And i think we are somewhat getting along well. So i don't think it would be nice if i would cut off communication with any of them.
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Post by Outcast on Sept 20, 2018 3:08:22 GMT -5
Ok. Searching online for help i came across these. link1
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